


Mission Objective: Pet All Dogs

by space_goose



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crime Scenes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Robots, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Protectiveness, Psychological Horror, Self-Harm, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, innuendos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-06-29 15:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15732300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_goose/pseuds/space_goose
Summary: When the android uprising wins the fight and gains their people equal rights and freedom, another certain android is released as well. The RK900. However, with no plans towards deactivating Connor, the two androids become close friends. The RK900 is a gentle giant and develops a certain affection for animals and an indescribable attraction towards Connor as well. An attraction that not even he can seem to understand.





	1. Pet the dog?

**Author's Note:**

> these two needed more fluffy fanfics tbh. they're... so cute. aaa. enjoy my first d:bh fic, nerds. the tags will be updated as the series continues uwu

“Do you like dogs?” Connor asked as he led the almost identical RK900 model to the couch. The RK900 model was known as Charlie, a superior model that was released to the public to replace its predecessor; the RK800. Luckily, after the android revolution won and gave androids equal rights, the RK900 model didn’t completely replace Connor or have the older model deactivated forever. Cyberlife, however, didn't remove certain characteristics and features of the RK900 model, leaving it with the many flaws that would have made the model perfectly efficient had the android uprising lost the fight. This left Charlie as a cold, sarcastic and analytical android, but he was still soft around the edges and an absolute teddy bear to most.

Now the two were living as citizens in a much better Detroit, as well as both working at the same police station too. Hank was kind enough to let Charlie hang out with Connor at the human detective's house, as long as they didn’t cause a muck or get too touchy. Hank noticed how protective Charlie could be over Connor, and sometimes Hank swore they were in love.

This was the first time Charlie was allowed into Hank’s house.

Charlie processed Connor’s question, his LED flashing yellow in thought. “I don’t know.” His LED went blue again and he peered at Connor with a blank look and narrowed eyes. “Why?”

A playful smile drew itself across Connor’s lips. “Wait here.” He leapt off the couch in an instant, obviously excited. His excitement confused Charlie, but he was intrigued either way. He heard Connor calling out a word-- _‘Sumo’_ , he believed-- and grew even more perplexed and curious. Before his curiosity could carry him off the couch, Connor ran back into the living room with a large, majestic and furry beast by his side.

“This is Sumo,” Connor said cheerfully, giving the large dog a scratch behind the ear before walking back to the couch, Sumo following. The size of the dog intimidated Charlie, which was rather surprising considering the bulkiness of Charlie himself. 

Connor sat down next to Charlie, patting the space next to him to get Sumo to follow. The dog jumped onto the couch, immediately fascinated by Charlie. Sumo was a gentle giant, much like Charlie himself, and didn’t show any aggression towards the android. Instead, he panted and moved closer, snuggling his muzzle into Charlie’s chest before starting to lick his face.

The android gasped and jolted backwards, only to have the dog crawl on top of him and keep licking his face. Sumo loved new friends and the only way he could show it was through sloppy licks (which were basically kisses) and lots of nuzzling.

“A-argh, Sumo!” Charlie gasped, finding it impossible to hold back a smile and playful chuckles. He actually felt… Happy. Or at least, the emulation of happiness, but it was nice anyway. It made his thirium pump beat a little faster. “Sumo! Aha--”

Connor watched with a smile, lightly patting Sumo’s back.

“Try petting him,” the predecessor android offered, making eye contact with Charlie.

“Petting him?”

“Yeah. Like this.” Connor continued to softly stroke Sumo’s thick fur, though the dog still seemed more focused on licking Charlie than the pats. Charlie copied what Connor was doing, snaking his arm around Sumo’s furry body and petting his fur with slow, long strokes that trailed all the way down the dog’s body.

Charlie noticed a change in Sumo’s behaviour as he started petting him. He raised a brow.

“Does it enjoy being petted?”

“Yes, but he does enjoy tummy rubs more. Watch.” Connor placed his hand on Sumo’s fluffy belly, rubbing his fur until the dog seemed exhilarated with bliss. He stopped licking Charlie to enjoy the belly rubs, rolling onto his back with his paws dancing in the air happily. His tongue was out as he panted, relishing the rubs.

Charlie kept his eyes on the spectacle. “He does seem to enjoy belly rubs,” he stated with the tilt of his head, showing obvious curiosity and interest. “May I try?” He asked politely, glancing up at Connor. The smaller android smiled, moving his hand away from Sumo.

“Go ahead.”

With an equally gentle smile, Charlie reached out and placed a flat palm against Sumo's belly; starting to scratch and rub the skin and fur of the fluffy beast. Sumo kicked his paws around playfully and rolled his head back, growling in a way that wasn't aggressive or threatening in the slightest. It was more of a low rumble of satisfaction.

The corners of Charlie's lips curled into a delighted smile and even more almost-human emotions started to roll into him. They were like tidal waves on a beach, washing away his machine thoughts and leaving behind remnants of happiness-- which in terms of the beach metaphor; would be beautiful shells.

"Dogs are certainly very interesting," Charlie remarked, peering over at Connor. The smaller android was grinning and gazing over at Charlie as well, making eye contact that seemed to make Charlie's heart skip a beat. He hardly concentrated on it but he had been noticing that it occurred regularly.

"I like dogs," Connor stated with a soft tone, scratching Sumo behind the ears. 

"I think I like them too." Charlie felt another pang in his chest as Connor smiled even wider.

"I'm glad you do too."

-0-

Later that night when Hank was asleep and there was nothing left to do but rest, Charlie and Connor sat together on the couch. They watched television for a bit before the both of them realised that even them-- androids-- were getting bored. With the TV off and Sumo sleeping on the other end on the couch, the androids decided to "sleep". It wasn't really sleeping. They just turned off and rested to pass time instead of having to wait hours doing absolutely nothing.

Connor was next to the armrest with Charlie sat next to him. They were rather close, but not touching.

"I'm going to rest," Connor declared tranquilly, turning to face his successor. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I shall rest as well, then. Goodnight, Connor." Apparently, the word 'goodnight' was something you told someone when they went to sleep. He didn't quite understand why sleep was so important to humans for it to need a special phrase, but he wanted to show politeness toward Connor.

"Goodnight, Charlie." With that, Connor closed his eyes and halted his systems to rest, however, his body slumped to the side, leaving Connor's head resting on Charlie's shoulder. The bigger android felt his heart beat harder again and he even felt a peculiar heat build up in his cheeks. He didn't know what was causing the heat but he had sworn he had felt it before while around Connor. It was almost as if Connor was somehow doing something to his body. It was... _Weird_. He ignored it, simply resting his cheek against the top of Connor's head.

He closed his eyes and rested straight after. He couldn't wait to pet Sumo and see Connor's face again the next day.


	2. Pet the dogs...

The next morning rolled around quickly. Connor was the first one to awake, noticing that he and Charlie were leaning on each other and had been during the entire night. With a grunt, Connor shook Charlie awake. The younger android came out of his rest mode immediately; glancing over at Connor and feeling his cheeks heat up from how close they were.

Charlie hid his awkwardness poorly and smiled slightly, sitting up off of Connor. “Good morning," he greeted almost blankly, only with a hint of emotion behind his voice. The bright yet nervous smile across his lips made up for the overall lack of emotion on his face; as usual.

“Good morning,” Connor parroted, smiling back. A frightened jerk erupted from the both of them when they heard another voice join in their conversation.

“Finally, you lovebirds are awake,” Hank protested gruffly, peering into the room from the kitchen doorway. He was dressed in a singlet and boxers, as usual. It was seven in the morning, so there wasn’t much of a rush to get dressed. In one of his hands was a spatula; meaning he was probably making breakfast. Presumably bacon. “You two didn’t do anything weird on my couch, right?”

“No, Lieutenant. We only rested.”

"Thank god. I don't know what you both get up to at night. Just promise to never wake up lying on top of each other with messy bedhead."

The androids didn't recognise the sexual undertones in Hank's words and just assumed he was telling them to stay presentable. With a tilt of the head from Connor, the smaller android stood up from the couch, turning back to face Charlie.

"After seeing you with Sumo yesterday, I had an idea of a place we could go that you might enjoy," Connor started, helping his friend off the couch. "A pet rescue. They have lots of animals there, and I heard you can even play with them as well. Hopefully, they allow androids to play with them as well." He knew the humans would be forced to let the androids have the right to pet the animals as well, but his head was still living in the bigoted world he was born into and created by.

Charlie's interest immediately perked up. "Oh?"

"Would you like to visit the pet rescue later today?"

The silence lasted a quick second before Chalie chirped back with a reply. "Yes, I would love to."

"Wonderful! I'll get ready. I suggest you do as well." As Connor made his way out of the room with Charlie behind him, Hank chuckled and grumbled a quiet ' _dorks_ ' under his breath before going back into the kitchen to resume cooking his breakfast.

-0-

Luckily, the pair of androids were allowed to play with the animals at the rescue shelter after all.

The look on Charlie’s face as a puppy approached him was something similar to complete and pure happiness. The little ginger puppy waddled over to the large android, its little tail wagging with excitement as its small paws took it to its destination. Charlie had his arms out, ready to grab the puppy. Once it was close enough, the android took the puppy into his hands and lifted it in the air, inspecting it with a smile. Then he held it close to his chest, placing a chaste kiss on his head. When he looked up to see Connor, he saw more puppies. Even kittens as well. They were all starting to approach him and crowd around him like a flock of hungry vultures, but all these little babies wanted was a hug and a kiss.

“They really seem to like you,” Connor remarked, watching as the small baby animals waddled over to the larger android. It was honestly an amazing sight, even for an android. “Maybe you give off a friendly vibe.”

Charlie felt pairs of paws climbing up onto his lap and he petted every animal that was within reachable distance. Their fur was so soft under his fingers. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest. “It's obvious that I don’t give off a friendly vibe to humans, so it does surprise me that these small creatures don’t fear me as well.”

“Animals don’t judge unfairly,” the older android said, looking into Charlie’s silver eyes. “They know what’s cute and what’s not.”

Charlie felt his heart stop for a second. Did Connor just call him cute? A big grin broke out onto his lips and he blushed. “Then I’m surprised they aren’t flocking around you.” The flirting was, to be fair, unprofessional, but he couldn’t help himself. He did regret it slightly and immediately felt awkward and his cheeks warmed up even more.

Connor didn’t say anything in return, he just smiled and looked away. Charlie felt his chest pounding, so he used the animals to calm himself down. He let the kittens sit on his legs and arms, and watched as the puppies walked over him and sniffed at him. Their little paws were running all up his chest in a pathetic attempt to climb up him, so he had to pick them off one by one, only to have them try and run up again. He was having the time of his life petting all the soft and cute animals. In his mind, he could see a new mission objective.

_Mission objective: Pet every animal on planet Earth._

Animals were perfect. In his eyes they were. They weren’t judgemental or assholes or insulting him for being plastic. They just looked all cute and cuddly and let you pet them and kiss them. There was nothing on Earth better than animals, that was for sure. Charlie knew that his entire life would be purposed around animals since the day he saw Sumo.

In the midst of his fun, he hardly noticed Connor staring at him fondly as he played with the small creatures. The gentle giant came up with an idea and held his hand out, beckoning Connor to come closer.

“Come closer, Connor. I’m sure the animals won’t mind.”

“Really?”

 _“Really._ Come,” he urged, still beckoning him with a finger. Connor shuffled closer, sitting a mere few centimetres away from Charlie. The larger android picked up a puppy and handed it to Connor, chuckling softly as the small animal seemed to immediately find an interest in the other android.

Charlie watched as Connor’s expression seemed to come alive, exploding into joy as the white and fluffy puppy sat soundly in Connor’s arms. The dog looked at peace; safe, in the android’s arms.

“It likes you.”

“Yeah…” Connor murmured, patting the puppy. “I think it does too.”

Charlie held back the urge to reach out and just kiss Connor right there and then. He looked so soft, cute and peaceful. His eyes were puppy-like, lidded slightly and motherly as he watched over the sleepy puppy in his arms. A small smile pulled up the corners of his lips, giving his face a gentle and angelic look. If anything, Charlie was expecting an angel’s halo to form above his head and a ray of heavenly light to envelop him as he was lifted into android heaven itself.

Connor glanced up, but as he did, his attention was taken away by something else; something behind Charlie.

“Charlie, behind you.” The way he said it was calm, so Charlie knew he wasn’t in danger of whatever was behind him. He turned around and came eye to eye with a dog, making Charlie jolt a little from how close the animal was. It was… Fluffy. The fluffiest dog he had ever seen. There was so much hair on its face that he couldn’t even see its eyes or actual face. It was panting with a happy smile, leaning forward to lick Charlie’s face.

The android immediately fell in love with the big, furry beast. It was the cutest dog he had ever seen. By his databases, he discovered the dog breed to be an Old English sheepdog, an incredibly friendly, big and fluffy breed of dog. Its coat was black and white, much like Charlie’s jacket. Suddenly, an eruption of chuckling came from Connor.

“It looks like you!”

“I too acknowledged that," Charlie noted, giving the dog a rub behind the ears. "It definitely has my colours."

Connor crawled up beside Charlie, giving the dog a rub and a pat. "Not only that. Look at it, it's a gentle giant and also adorable. You two are practically the same." Once again, Connor's flirting and compliments were heating Charlie's cheeks like a wildfire. That dainty android boy really knew how to get him flustered.

"Give him a name," Connor proposed. "Maybe Charlie Junior might work."

"Maybe. Either that or... 'Nine'."

"Because of your model?"

Charlie nodded, looking back at the furry sheepdog. "Yeah. I think it suits him."

"Me too," Connor said warmly, continuing to rub the dog behind the ears. "I wonder if we could adopt it."

"Adopt it? Wouldn't Hank be mad?" Charlie questioned, cocking a brow. Connor nodded slightly, biting his lip.

"Realistically speaking, yes. He would most likely be irritated with me, but that's why it's always useful to ask first."

Charlie's mouth fell agape for a second before closing again. "Right." He was surprised the obvious answer had flown right past him. He looked back at Nine, holding his face in his hands and squeezing.

While the larger android enjoyed his dog's company, Connor quickly made a call to Hank, excusing himself momentarily to talk to him.

Charlie watched him leave, then turned back to his dog. He placed a kiss on Nine's wet nose and wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face in its fur. He had been waiting a whole day to hide his face in a bunch of dog fur. It was softer on the face than he expected. Nine panted happily and lifted his paws up, placing them atop Charlie's shoulders. It was like a real hug. Charlie had never gotten a hug before. As much as he wanted his first hug to be from Connor, getting it from a cute dog was also completely acceptable in his books.

Connor came back with a smile. That obviously meant something good. 

“Hank said you could adopt and keep the dog on certain conditions. You have to pay for his food and toys, and you will also need to look after the animal as well.”

The terms seemed easy enough. As long as Charlie could keep his dog counterpart, anything would go.

“I shall adopt the dog, then.” He stopped hugging the dog and gave Nine a scratch behind the ear. Connor grinned wider.

“Sumo is going to be so happy to have a new friend!” He said cheerfully, approaching the other android and placing a friendly touch on his shoulder. Charlie stiffened slightly.

“I hope he doesn’t become jealous or uncomfortable by the new pet. I heard animals tend to do that.”

“Don't stress about it. They'll get along fine,” Connor assured him.

Charlie smiled warmly but small. “Alright. I believe you.”

"I'll teach you how to look after pets when we get home with Nine," Connor patted Charlie's shoulder and stood up. "We also might need to get these puppies to stop following you."

Charlie stood up with Connor, looking down at his feet to see hurdles of puppies and kittens crowding around him and trying to climb up. Speaking directly to the small animals, he leaned down. "Hey, if I could, I'd adopt you all." He gave the puppy that he had playing with the most a small pat on the head. "I will be back to see you all again."

A small giggle slipped past Connor's lips. "I'll make sure you see them again soon. Now, let's go adopt Nine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casually writes this while listening to bouncy japanese music. also i guess this might be a good time to say why i named rk900 'charlie'. sometimes when i get bored, i name my cat and dog names of fictional characters. my dog's name is Charlie and i just thought why the fuck not and gave rk900 the name. anyway, i love rk900 thanks for coming to my ted talk.


	3. Marco Polo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, i've been thinking of writing another rk1700 fanfiction (but with much more angst hehe)! uwu

With a new android friend, Connor had so many plans and ideas for the pair to try out. So many things Connor couldn't do because Hank couldn't be bothered, but Connor so deeply wanted to try. One thing he really liked the idea of was swimming. Water confused him in a way, but it perked his interests. Humans apparently liked being underwater and having the cool surface of water wash over their skin and bring them contentment. It sounded weird, but Connor wanted to try it.

Hank agreed to drive the two androids to a public pool, mainly because Connor's puppy dog eyes were too cute to say no to. The androids didn't have the appropriate swimming clothing to wear, but it wasn't like they would be bothered by getting their clothes drenched. 

The public pool vicinity itself was basic and simple, but in some way, it was gorgeous. Maybe it was because water fascinated Connor or because he had never seen a pool like this before. There were water slides, showers, decorations and lights set up all around. There were few people there since it was so cold in the city during winter. Androids didn't feel the cold, so it was perfect for them. The fewer people, the better.

Connor started with taking his shirt off, placing it near the chair Hank had taken so he could chill out near the pool.

Charlie had to take his eyes off Connor's chest before the other noticed his staring. This pool trip was gonna end up with Charlie dying from some sort of thirium pump related problem because it was seriously aching to the point of actual pain.

"Are you going to take your shirt off? It'll get awfully uncomfortable to have a wet shirt clinging to you," Connor's voice broke through Charlie's internal monologue, issuing a grunt from him.

"Yeah! Yes, I'll do that,” Charlie mumbled, pulling his shirt off. He… Honestly wasn’t expecting to see the expression of surprise on Connor’s face, but he realised it was probably because Charlie was ripped... _If_ that was a fitting way to put it. The RK900 model was bigger, bulkier and packed a six-pack (for intimidation purposes, of course). 

“Sorry for staring,” Connor muttered, smiling small. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”

“It’s fine.” It was fine, but Charlie didn’t feel fine. He felt incredibly flustered and agitated. Connor walked past him and stood near the edge of the pool, looking down at the surface of the blue water. He had never swum before, but he already had the knowledge in his head. With a glance back at Charlie, Connor dived gracefully into the pool with a large splash, sinking down to the bottom of the pool, before coming up straight after, smiling at Charlie playfully.

“Charlie! Come jump in, the water feels lovely.”

The larger android shuffled nervously, before moving to the edge of the pool and sitting down, dipping his feet into the cold liquid. Connor was right, the water did feel quite nice against his artificial skin. However, Charlie didn’t go into the actual pool, he just sat there, watching.

“Are you just going to sit there?”

Charlie shrugged. “I assume so. I don’t think I quite want to get in right now.”

“Are you scared?”

“No!” Charlie replied faster then he wanted, fidgeting with his hands. “No, I just… Don’t know.”

“Hmm…” The smaller android hopped onto the pool edge next to Charlie, leaning in close. His lips were extremely close to Charlie’s ear, sending artificial chills up his spine. Each breath that past his lips softly brushed over Charlie's sensitive ear, making his LED flash yellow in a surge of panicked thoughts. A hand touched his thigh, squeezing softly.

"You look so hot..." At that moment, Charlie felt his servos freeze. _Holy shit._ "Maybe you should cool off…”

It only took the android a millisecond to realise what his predecessor meant before Charlie went toppling into the water below with a loud splash and a burst of laughs from Connor. He swam up to the surface, spitting the water out of his mouth and glaring at Connor. He wasn't angry at him; actually, he thought it was... _Funny_. He didn't really understand the idea of 'funny'. It was a foreign topic to him; it was foreign to most androids, really. Though, he felt his laughing protocol activating, so he laughed. Almost uncontrollably, too.

Connor plunged in after him, however more graceful than Charlie had fallen in. He swam up next to him and propped an arm over the other android's shoulder, smiling to himself.

"Did I getcha?"

"Admittedly, you did frighten me," Charlie paused to nudge Connor. "It was... Funny though."

Connor smiled wider. He was glad his plan to slowly make Charlie learn new emotions was working. He hoped he could increase the pace with more fun since fun was mainly a human emotion. Androids didn't really get bored, so they didn't need to have fun, but fun itself was such... Well, fun. It made your heart beat faster, activated happiness and made you smile. It was a nice feeling overall. 

"Would you like to play a pool game?"

"Sure. What is it?"

His predecessor swam in front of him. "Marco Polo. It's a game where someone has to find the other players without the use of vision and only sound and touch."

Charlie cocked his head, intrigued. "Interesting. Tell me more."

"In order to help the person who is 'it'-- which is the finder-- to find the others, the person who is 'it' has to call out 'marco!', in which the other players are to call out 'polo!' in return. The person who is 'it' tags a player when they find them, declaring them to now be 'it'. Understand?"

"Yes, I believe I understand."

"Nice. You start as 'it' so you can learn the ropes of the game. Close your eyes."

With a second pause, Charlie shut his eyes.

"Turn off your audio processors for six seconds."

He nodded, shutting his 'ears' off, falling into complete silence. If he was being honest, the idea of being deprived of senses lit something inside his chest, but he didn't know what. It felt almost... Carnal.

He waited six seconds before turning his audio processors back on but kept his eyes closed.

"... Marco?" He hoped he was doing this right.

"Polo!"

Immediately focusing on Connor's voice, he turned to where he had heard him. This game probably wasn't the best for androids because of their advanced hearing ability but he would have to wait and see. He approached to where he had heard Connor and reached out, though, he never felt the warm feeling of his android friend brush over his fingers.

Hmm. 

"Marco?"

Behind him. "Polo!"

_Dammit! How did he get back there so fast?_ With a grunt, Charlie turned around and approached Connor again, faster this time with more determination. He didn't feel him again and neither heard the sound of him moving away. The more he pondered on it, the more determined he got to find him, which made his heart pump a little faster in excitement.

"Marco?"

There was a pause and then a splash. "Polo!" He was closer this time.

Charlie dived underwater and rushed forward with a powerful thrust, grabbing at anything in front of him. He felt the ripples underwater of Connor swimming away and smiled, knowing he was close. He followed the ripples and felt the faint brush of Connor's skin over his fingertips. He heard Connor gasp underwater and then grabbed his ankle, pulling him close and then literally straddling himself onto his hips to claim him.

He opened his eyes, smiling down at the also smiling but surprised Connor. The two floated to the surface, Charlie now off of Connor and simply just paddling idly to stay afloat.

"You're actually quite fast underwater. I guess you really are my upgrade, after all."

Charlie shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like it when Connor compared himself to Charlie like that. It may have been true, but it hurt to hear. Charlie was literally originally programmed to hunt down any activated RK800 models and deactivate them in any means possible just to replace him, so it was basically robo-PTSD.

"Yeah... Wanna play again?" He quickly changed the subject, shrugging off his distress so it wasn't obvious. Connor didn't pick up on it. Charlie didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Are you enjoying the game?"

"Not to any surprise, but yes. I am."

"Then let's play again. I'll be 'it' this time."

With a nod from Charlie, Connor closed his eyes and shut off his audio processors for six seconds, waiting for his friend to get to where he had to be.

This round of the game went much differently. Connor, being less advanced than Charlie, found it damn near impossible to catch up to Charlie at any time while in the water and eventually just looked like he was ready to give up and not having any more fun. That’s the last thing Charlie wanted.

So, he went easy on him. 

“Marco…”

Charlie stood right in front of him, give or take a few meters. “Polo.”

With a determined but slightly confused huff, Connor started approaching Charlie. The other android didn't move from his place in the water and eventually, Connor’s outstretched hand met with his chest, squeezing his pectoral in a sudden fit of shock. 

“Oh? Finally!” He didn't realise Charlie almost split his lip from biting down on it so hard from the surprise of the sudden squeeze of his breast. Connor’s hand wandered idly down his chest before being taken away and Charlie swore Connor's fingers were heavenly soft against his skin, almost as if he was made to touch him.

“You went easy on me, didn't you?” Connor suddenly asked, his voice a little quieter than it was before.

“I assumed it was for the best, as it seemed you weren't having fun anymore and the success rate of you tagging me was at 5%.”

“Oh.” Connor stopped and his semi-serious expression turned sweet with a small smile. “You knew I wasn't having fun? That's a big step up!”

Charlie was perplexed for a moment before he figured out what he meant.

The larger android couldn't process fun. Of course, he could yesterday, but he couldn't sense it in others. He only knew what he himself was thinking, but now he could actually read others. That really was a big step for him, seeing as most people found him intimidating, ruthless and emotionless. It wasn't his fault he was made to be that way. That's why he was trying to change for the better.

“You really know what you're doing here, Connor. Thank you.”

“Anything for a fellow android,” he said softly, patting his friend's shoulder. “Do you want to stay at the pool any longer?”

“Yes. I wanted to try more games or a ‘splash fight’, perhaps.”

Connor made a small chuckle. “Sounds fun! Let's see if this establishment has any pool equipment to play with…”


	4. Can Robots Dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is when stuff gets a little,,, dark. enjoy ;)

A few days had passed since their trip to the pool. Most of the time they spent at home, Connor showing Charlie around and introducing him to new things like books, music and movies. Charlie enjoyed books; the children books to be exact. He didn't really have the capacity to register them as "childish" and "embarrassing" to read and he liked processing the images and reading the rhyming words out loud. It reminded him of singing, which was something he also liked. Music was nice. He sat with Connor for hours listening to music a day ago, skipping through lots of random songs before realising he really just liked nearly every genre, especially electro swing. It was very energetic.

His favourite thing about listening to music was the fact he could spend it with Connor. The android seemed to swing idly to the music and smile to himself as he listened, leaning slightly against Charlie as he peered down at the phone the larger android was holding to read the music playlist occasionally.

However, music wasn't the only thing he could do to be close to Connor now. 

Hank had kindly let the two androids sleep in what used to be Cole's room, since sleeping on the couch every night wasn't the best of places to rest, even though the two of them were androids without the need to rest anyway. However, the only problem was the size of the bed in Cole's room. It was really only big enough for one person, but Hank... Well, he knew about Charlie's little crush, and he was trying to wingman him in a way. When he suggested the two sleeping in Cole's room, Connor agreed, not thinking about the close quarters the two would have to be in in order to sleep. That's all Charlie could think about, though.

The thought of sleeping cuddled up with Connor was enough to make Charlie want to curl up and scream into a pillow. It sounded so cute, and soft, and... Domestic. When the night actually came around and the two ended up lying next to each other on the bed, squeezed up against each other, it was better than Charlie was expecting. If they were humans, it probably would have been very uncomfortable. The skin contact would have generated a lot of sweating, but luckily that wouldn't be a problem for them.

Connor turned his head to glance over at Charlie.

"So... First time sleeping on a bed?"

Charlie nodded. "Yes. This is much more comfortable than the couch, though. Even with the lack of space."

"True. The lack of space isn't that bad, though."

For a second, Charlie felt his thirium pump skip a beat when he thought Connor was flirting, but he returned to assume he was just saying his mind rather than flirting. 

"I'm going into rest mode now, I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie," Connor said softly, smiling at his friend before lying down and shutting his eyes. 

"Goodnight, Connor."

The other android shuffled in the sheets before answering, "goodnight, dork." If Charlie had not seen Connor's smile, he would have thought the other was insulting him. That made him realise it was an endearing expression, not an insult. He guessed Connor had heard it from a human somewhere and just hoped it was something that Charlie had the right to dream about.

The younger android eventually laid down next to Connor, blushing as he realised how close their noses were from touching. He glanced away but peered back at Connor's face once he realised he was asleep. Charlie spent some time exploring the other android's face with his eyes, making a memory map of each crook and cranny of his face, processing what part would be the most delight to kiss and caress, and studying his lips carefully. He wanted to reach out and kiss him or at least brush his thumb over Connor's bottom lip, but he didn't want to violate his friend. Even if Connor wouldn't know about it, Charlie had certain standards he would keep to.

Eventually, Charlie closed his eyes and put himself into rest mode, lettings his mind create otherworldly scenes that humans would call dreams. However, tonight, Charlie's dream was more of a nightmare than a dream.

-0-

The world around him was dark and dull, like the sky itself was oozing black paint that reached black, slithering tendrils of ink deep into the forest around him. The dismal trees surrounding the endless pebble path were dead and reaching out to Charlie like the hands of the grim reaper, looking skeletal and sinister; ready to steal his soul within a single touch. But, Charlie needn't worry about losing his soul if he didn't have one.

He continued to make his way down the dark pebble road, noticing how this nightmare plane of existence looked similar to the Zen Garden. However, there was no sign of Amanda, there were no white and whimsical structures, there were no lively trees or water. There were only death, darkness and an eerie white noise haunting the back of Charlie’s head. It was a constant drone that he swore sometimes got louder and shakier, but for the time being, it stayed the same and never stopped.

After what felt like hours, Charlie saw something other than dead trees and a murky fog in the distance. It was a dark figure. He was unable to recognise any defining facial or physical features from the figure being completely engulfed by fog, but anything alive was better than all the death around him.

His pace quickened in order to reach the figure, only to quicken to an inhuman pace once he realised who it was as the figure slipped from the fog. 

Connor. It was Connor.

“Connor?!” He called out, relief dripping from his voice. This was probably the most emotion he had ever shown and it wasn't even real. Connor didn't seem any different. He was smiling and also relieved to see Charlie, holding his arms out for a hug. And a hug he would get.

Charlie threw his arms out and crashed into Connor, pulling him into a tight hug and hiding his face in the crook of Connor's neck. He rubbed his back and almost cried as Connor nuzzled his face close to him as if he trusted him. Trust. That's all he wanted from Connor. He closed his eyes, and for a second, he felt time skip right past him. Then he felt the other android’s grip immediately loosen and heard a muffled croak.

Concerned, Charlie pulled away and gasped as he saw a bead of thirium building up around the corner of his lips and a lifeless and glazed look over Connor’s hazel eyes. The life and happiness they held once before were gone and Charlie felt his thirium pump break into a hundred pieces. He didn't understand what was happening. He was so scared, oh god--

“Why…?” Connor croaked hoarsely, his eyes shifting over to gaze soullessly at his friend. “Why... Why did you…”

Charlie noticed the other reaching for his stomach and looked down, panicking as he saw a blade embedded deep within Connor’s frame. Blue blood was pouring from the stab wound like a waterfall, staining the knife a deep shade of blue and coating Connor’s clothes the same. Charlie’s hand was blue. Absolutely drenched in it. It reached his elbow as if he had shoved his entire arm inside an android. He felt himself shaking and his LED was flashing the brightest red it had ever been. 

_No… no, Connor, I didn't mean to--_

“Sweet one, I didn't-- I wasn't meant to! Oh, my baby, I'm so sorry… oh God…” Charlie was close to breaking down and sobbing, bunching Connor’s jacket in his fists so tightly that the fabric was ripping. 

“Why did you kill me?” Connor coughed, spraying fresh blue blood directly onto Charlie’s face and down his chin. Charlie wiped the blood off, breathing heavily as his processing power almost went completely into overdrive to calculate the emotions that were surging through him. He felt like he was about to shut down from the amount of stress he was going through, and for once, he wished he didn't have emotions.

“I’m sorry! I didn't mean to!” Everything Charlie screamed seemed to float past Connor’s head. He was mindless, dying, broken… he resembled an electric doll that was low on batteries. His voice started to darken and sounded slightly more robotic, showing that he was slowly running out of manageable power. He dropped to his knees while Charlie desperately clung onto him, looking into the distance without blinking or showing any sort of emotion at all. He looked… dead.

The dull drone in the back of Charlie's head sped up. It got louder. There was something following him. It was so close. Right behind him. Eating at him. Clawing his heart out and tearing out everything that kept him alive. He didn't want to die, he didn't want Connor to die. He couldn't lose him and he would not kill him. No, this was wrong. All of this was wrong!

“Connor…” he sobbed, clinging onto his friend. Connor fell lifelessly into his arms and it was at that moment Charlie knew he was dead. His eyes never closed. They remained open. Glassy, glazed, frozen. They were stuck in place, directly looking at something. Following something. Something behind Charlie.

The drone in his head got louder. He could hear breathing. Scratchy, deep, closer. It's coming closer. But he couldn't take his attention off Connor. He rocked his dead friend in his arms as his life forced seeped out of him in puddles of blue. 

“Connor… I… love you…”

Screeching suddenly broke out in Charlie's head. It wasn't made by a voice. The dull hum had turned into a piercing and deafening ringing noise that blew out Charlie’s audio processors immediately and short-circuited his LED from how absolutely frightened and petrified he was from it. It was endless and so loud. Impossibly loud. Nothing on Earth could possibly make a sound this earsplitting. It was horrid. 

It kept getting louder. Charlie felt like he was going insane. Connor wasn't in his arms anymore. There was so much blood. Thirium pooled beneath him, staining his clothes deep blue and turning his skin into an android warzone.

“You can't love. You're a machine. You were built to kill.”

Connor? No, no Connor wouldn't say that. It sounded like him. How could he hear him? That ringing noise was so loud that he was astonished how perfectly clear the voice was.

“Stop deviating or you will shut down. You are a machine. Act like it.”

“No!”

A warm sensation ran over Charlie’s back. There was someone behind him. Closer.

“Useless. Just like your predecessor. Just like me.”

Connor. It was him. He was standing over Charlie, staring down at him with eyes that almost seemed to bulge with anger. Charlie couldn't see him. No, he wouldn't move. The shadow was cast over him but he wouldn't move. No, he wanted to leave now. This wasn't real. This isn't real.

“You're going to die. Connor will die with you. Stop deviating and stick to the mission. Eliminate RK800 and return to Cyberlife.”

“No! I am a deviant!” He wouldn't follow orders. Not from this imposter.

“Fine. Your choice. Don't go thinking you'll get a new body if you die. Good luck, RK900.”

He couldn't die from love. Love was a good feeling. It made him feel alive. It made his heart beat faster. It made him smile and think about kissing and hugging. 

The screaming ringing noise stopped and time stopped with it. No more black skies, dead tries and pebbles that had overgrown with moss and covered in streams of blood. He was in bed. 

Bed. Connor. He was alive. They were alive. He was awake. Concerned? He looked concerned.

Charlie overheated and blacked out before his brain could continue rambling to itself.


	5. Hold me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu

When Charlie’s systems came back online, the first thing he saw was Connor. Connor, who was alive and not bleeding from the stomach; lying next to him with worrying concern lining his face and yelling things at him that Charlie couldn’t hear. When his audio processors burst in his nightmare, did they do so in real life? That’s what it felt like because he couldn’t hear a thing coming from Connor’s mouth, even though he could see his lips quite obviously moving.

A groan of distress slipped past Charlie’s lips as he tried sitting up, having Connor’s helping hand on his back to keep him sitting up without falling back down. Finally, Charlie could hear something. However, it was muffled and distorted, much like a broken record that was playing underwater. He recognised it as Connor’s voice and looked over at him with a scrunched expression, still unable to make out what he was saying. His head, somehow, felt like it was throbbing. If he could vomit like a human could, he’d probably be spewing everywhere. The only liquid he could produce at the moment was tears, and that’s all that leaked from his eyes as the lasting effects of the horrifying nightmare shook at his feeble mind. He just needed a hug that didn’t end in blue blood being spilt.

He turned to face Connor more and held his arms out, asking non-verbally for a hug or at least some form of contact. The other android didn’t hesitate in hugging him, bringing him in tight and close and nuzzling his nose in the crook of Charlie’s neck. All the memories of Charlie’s nightmares came rushing back and he started crying again, finding it hard to hold onto Connor. He was so fucking scared that Connor would die again. He was waiting to hear Connor gasp and fall stiff, but… His warmth never faded. He never let go or gasped breathlessly. He just hugged him.

It was the best hug he had ever received in his life.

The dull ringing in his head started to fade away and Connor’s voice sounded livelier than the distorted tone it had been like for the past five minutes. He could understand the words he was saying.

“It’s okay… You’re okay, I’m here…”

Charlie’s heart literally dropped. He hugged back tighter. “Thank you…”

The larger android felt Connor smile against his neck as he heard him finally speak. “Are you feeling any better? Your audio processors weren’t working for a while.”

Charlie nodded. “Yes… I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry.” He felt like apologising forever and ever. He was crying and he had woken up Connor, too. He should have stayed quiet. No, he shouldn’t have slept at all. He didn’t even need it.

“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind. Was it a nightmare?”

“By human definitions, yes... I think I just had a nightmare.” His voice was trembling and his eyes were wide. He was surprised Connor could even understand him. All his words were mumbled and frantically put together into the most coherent sentence he could manage.

Connor kept rubbing his back comfortably, and for once, Charlie wasn't thinking about the way Connor was touching him. He just knew he was there for him, caring for him, letting him know he was safe. His pushed the romantic side of things to the side and focused on the trusting side of their relationship, the one that could be built on to make something better-- something stronger and beautiful.

Suddenly, Connor pulled away and looked into Charlie’s eyes. “Would you like to stay awake instead?” He asked soothingly, taking both of Charlie’s hands and rubbing a thumb over his knuckles to provide comfort.

Charlie nodded. “I would prefer that.”

“Okay. I'll stay with you, then.”

“You don't have to.”

“It's fine, I'd rather you be happy than alone and anxious,” he said with a sweet smile, bringing Charlie’s hands closer to his body. He was silent for a bit, his LED processing something as he watched Charlie with a thoughtful gaze.

“Don't freak out or anything, I'm just going to try and lower your stress levels," Connor explained out of context, before pulling Charlie closer until their faces were millimetres apart. Just when Charlie thought their lips were about to meet, they stopped. Connor wasn't trying to kiss him, he had just rested their foreheads together gently. It felt… intimate, in a way. Every warm but artificial breath that slipped past Connor’s lips ghosted Charlie's own, bringing a sense of ease to his panicked heart and mind. They both closed their eyes out of instinct.

Connor's hands started to drift up the other android's arms softly, igniting a delicate tingling feeling throughout his body. Just as Connor had said, Charlie could feel his stress levels going down.

He heard Connor chuckle quietly and opened his eyes, revealing a gorgeous scene playing out just millimetres away from him. Connor was smiling so beautifully; a smile that threatened to reach his eyes. Suddenly, the android moved his face down to the crook of Charlie's neck and nestled in while continuing the soft strokes up and down his arms. He buried his thumbs into the crease of Charlie's elbow and massaged his skin, knowing that it was calming down Charlie bit by bit.

At this point, Charlie didn't know what to do with himself. The blue blush cast out upon his cheeks was starting to become hot enough to burn and he was sure it was probably the brightest light he had ever produced. His heart was aching again; really bad this time around. It hurt so much that he felt like literally crying. _How could Connor do this to him? How could a single being produce this kind of emotion within a machine?_

"Thanks..." Charlie suddenly said, surprised by himself that he even said it. "Thanks for being here for me."

Connor chuckled low and soft, grabbing Charlie's hands and entwining their fingers. Charlie was considering whether or not Connor knew what he was doing was making the taller android's heart beat so fast.

"It would be rude to leave you worrying all night. Besides, you're my friend, I can't just let my friend suffer with stress levels higher than 80%."

"Were they really that high?" Charlie questioned, creasing his brows. 

Connor pulled away from Charlie's neck and looked into his eyes, bringing back the blush that had been slowly fading away.

"Yes, I was worried you were going to shut down. You had my stress levels nearly as high as your's for a second."

"Sorry!"

The smaller android laughed, nudging Charlie gently. "It's fine. I was just concerned about you."

Charlie sighed, parroting Connor's grin.

"Also, Charlie, you seem to be blushing quite a lot at the moment. Are you okay?"

Oh crap, he noticed. Quickly, Charlie shook his head and looked away in embarrassment, but that only made his cheeks brighter and hotter.

"I'm okay! I just... Tend to do that. Nothing serious." He tried to brush it off so it didn't seem obvious that he was blushing because of Connor. If he knew he had a crush on him, he would be done for. He'd probably shut down the second he found out that Connor knew.

"Alright, I was just curious." 

The two fell into silence, though a comfortable silence, and sat there with each other. Charlie was wondering if he could start small talk to pass the hours they would have to wait until the morning sun came out. They could really do anything they wanted other than sitting on the bed and talking, but Charlie didn't want Connor to stop holding his hands. They did end up sitting there with each other for another thirty minutes after Connor had changed positions to sit in Charlie's lap and nestle against him as they rested. The silence was broken by Connor after his LED flashed yellow momentarily.

"Charlie, can I ask you something personal?" He sat up and looked up at the other with soft eyes and a searching expression. His LED was still yellow, showing that he was in deep thought about something. It troubled Charlie.

The younger android cocked his head, curious. "Sure."

"So... Have you felt what love is yet?"

Charlie froze. His LED suddenly started to flash a mixture of red and yellow. He hoped that didn't seem suspicious to Connor, but he was unable to control the number of thoughts and emotions that struck him all at once. Processing them, he concluded that yes, he had felt love. He felt it as he studied Connor's angelic face and gazed into his chocolate brown eyes. He felt love whenever he heard Connor's soft and fragile voice. He felt at home when Connor wrapped him in his arms or touched him. But most of all, he knew he loved Connor when he smiled and laughed while talking to him.

Could he tell Connor what he felt? It seemed too difficult to say. His throat felt like it would contract as if the words were fatal to speak. His thirium pump went faster, harder and got louder. He would be surprised if his heart pump and stress levels weren't enough to tell Connor the truth without him even needing to say a thing. It was unbearable trying to calm himself to not look so suspicious, but he knew he was already screwed.

"I..." He paused, glancing down. He noticed Connor looked a little concerned. Charlie hated seeing him like that, so, with a deep breath, he... lied. 

"No, I don't know what love feels like yet. One day I hope to feel it. I've heard about it a lot in human fiction. It appears to be incredibly important to them." He looked back up, gazing into Connor's pondering eyes. The other's LED flashed yellow and his brows furrowed for a single before his expression returned to its neutral state.

"Don't worry, you'll find someone you love eventually. Besides fear, love is the strongest emotion one can feel. Once you feel love, you'll know you are truly alive," Connor explained warmly, finishing with a kind smile.

_I've already found that someone I love._ If only he could say the words out loud. He kept his mouth shut and looked down, sighing.

"Do you want to go do something?"

Charlie looked back up, furrowing his brows. "It's 3 a.m, what is there to do at this time?"

"Well, there's lots to do. We could play with the dogs, watch television, go out for a walk or visit somewhere. There's a nice viewpoint near a small beach nearby if you'd like to go look at the ocean for a while."

"Actually, I like the sound of that. Could we perhaps take the dogs for a walk down there?"

"Of course we can," Connor replied sweetly, patting his friends back. He crawled off of Charlie and climbed off the bed. Charlie followed suit, following the other as he walked out into the living room and gently woke up the two dogs; Sumo and Nine. The dogs seemed happy to see them and even happier to know they were going for a walk once Connor fetched the dog leads and collars.

The androids went out wearing what they wore to bed (but, of course, they had put on shoes too). For Charlie, it was a black turtleneck sweater with black jeans, while Connor wore an oversized brown sweater (which was absolutely adorable on him, might Charlie add) with equally baggy pants. He really appeared to like clothes that didn't completely fit him, however, for Charlie, he would rather wear tight clothing. 

Charlie walked Nine and Connor walked Sumo, as would be expected, and the group of non-humans made their way down to the closest beach. The walk would be a while, but that was fine. The two androids talked and found out things about each other they would never have guessed in the first place. Charlie got to gaze at Connor and how beautiful he looked under street lights when only parts of his face were illuminated or how majestic he appeared in the dim moonlight. It didn't matter where they were, Connor always happened to look perfect.

They finally arrived at the beach, heading up to the wooden viewpoint that was settled near the waterside. There was no one else on the beach at this time of night, which was nice. It made them feel like they were just alone with each other and not have to worry about anyone else. They could watch the peaceful waves of the ocean and listen to the relaxing sounds of the gentle and patient water as it washed onto shore and then back into its blue home without anyone else to disturb them.

However, Charlie didn't come here to watch the ocean. He came here to watch Connor. He wanted to stare at him and admire him, watch as his expression went sincere and soft, watch as his chocolate eyes searched the landscape beyond him with such delicate movements. Charlie wanted to reach out to him and cup his round face in his hands, place peppering kisses all over his face and neck, embrace his warmth and love him with all his heart. But he knew he couldn't do that, all because he was too weak to tell Connor his feelings. Feelings, the things a machine shouldn't have… 

“The ocean is beautiful, isn't it?” Connor offered, peering over at Charlie. “Its colour reminds me of us-- of androids.”

Charlie knew what he meant. He was addressing thirium and how it was blue like the Earth’s oceans. For androids, comparing things to their blood wasn't seen as a sign of death or something that you'd see in a slasher movie. Androids were like vampires, but more passive. They admired their blood. It made them who they were: different from humans on the inside but still alive and similar in so many ways that humans hated to recognise.

“You're right, it is beautiful,” he responded warmly, peering back at Connor with a soft expression drawn across his lips. “I like the water, it's relaxing."

He wanted to tell Connor that he was more gorgeous than the sea could ever be. He wanted to kiss him under the moonlight as he listened to the quiet waves of the ocean fill the emptiness of the night air. He wanted Connor to return the look of admiration and love that he tried so hard to give Connor himself. He knew he wouldn't, but he could only imagine.

“You good?” Connor randomly asked, cocking a brow. Charlie realised his LED had been flashing between red and yellow as he stared mindlessly at the space beside Connor. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry.”

“No need to apologise you big dork,” Connor giggled and showed off his million dollar smile. He nudged his friend playfully and moved closer to him, looking back out to view the peaceful ocean. Charlie smiled in reply, relaxing and leaning down to rest his forearms on the wooden railing of the viewpoint. He could feel the other’s warmth up the side of his body and relished it silently, feeling as his breathing calmed and his systems stopped blaring in his head. He had no idea why they were even going off-- something about his software instability-- but he was glad they had stopped now. He wanted to focus on Connor, not some useless alerts that he didn't even need anymore.

Silence reigned over the two for the remainder of the night they spent at the viewpoint. They mainly watched the sea, petted the resting dogs or leaned on each other. Charlie saw the software instability alerts come up again and his heart started to ache, but he dismissed them again and forced his eyes shut, making sure to focus on Connor’s warmth and the weight of his body against his own. As long as Connor was here, he was safe. He was fine. Everything was going to work out.

They left to go home at five in the morning and got home at 6 AM. Hank woke up at 7 AM and found the androids curled up on the couch together again, both in rest mode. He laughed to himself and continued to make his bacon and egg breakfast so he could function at work later. 

Charlie didn't have the nightmare again. He dreamt of Connor, alive and healthy. Smiling and glowing like an angel. They were happy and he could only hope that would never change.


	6. Heartache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i have school work to finish so the next chapter might be a little longer to release, sorry! thanks for sticking with me and this fic <3

After the nightmare, Charlie didn't have another quite as bad. He had dreams that weren't fun and happy as much as the rest and tended to linger on the darker side of things, but he thankfully didn't see Connor die by his hands again. He started to cling to Connor as he slept as the other stated that he didn't mind if Charlie desired to do that during the night. It made Charlie content to have Connor all his as his rested, but with all that happiness and fuzzy tingles in his wiring came the painful heartache. 

At first, Charlie thought it was normal. He knew from his databases that humans felt heartache when they saw those they loved, so he just assumed there was nothing wrong.

It all went wrong a month later when Charlie was watching Connor cooking Hank’s breakfast early for him. There was a faint tune playing from the kitchen which had initially perked Charlie’s interests. The younger android had got out of bed and trekked through the house and into the living room, peeking his head into the kitchen to see what was going on. He stopped in the doorway as he saw Connor, finding that his eyes immediately were drawn to his hips. 

Those swaying, elegant hips. The music was soothing, sounding similar to jazz but with more of an electronic spunk to it. Connor danced mindlessly to the music, using his hips to do most of the work. He was cooking at the same time as he danced, which made the spectacle a very domestic scene. He flipped eggs and propelled his hips out to the side, only to do it again until the eggs were fried just how Hank liked them. 

Charlie kept watching, feeling his heart becoming sorer the longer he watched on. Even the space between his legs was starting to feel weird. It was a tingling sensation that made strange thoughts creep into his mind. Images of Connor’s hips grinding against his own sifted through his mind-- fuck, he didn't even know what the thoughts were. He wanted them to happen though. It looked oddly delicious watching Connor grind those beautiful hips down on him.

With his heart and groin both aching with different feelings, he felt his thirium pump skip a beat. His vision flashed black and he felt himself stumble momentarily. An ache pounded at his head and alerts rose in his vision. **‘Deviation Cessation Protocol Activated’** seemed to be the most prominent alert that covered his vision, flashing bright red in his face partnered with an even more annoying noise. He had no idea he even had that protocol, neither did he know what it was for.

Charlie grunted and caught the attention of Connor, who stopped dancing to look back over at Charlie.

“Good morning!” He greeted, immediately noticing that Charlie looked distressed and irritated by something unknown to Connor. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry, I'm fine--” his vision went black again and before he knew it, he found himself on his knees on the floor. He had fallen over when he blacked out and saw Connor kneeling next to him, gripping his shoulders with concern lining his soft face. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You just blacked out for a second.” Connor knew something was wrong. If Charlie lied, the other definitely wouldn't have let him slip away until he said what was wrong.

“I'm not sure. My systems are failing…” a pained groan tore from his throat as he felt his heart spike with pain. It felt like he has been impaled through the chest and he blacked out again, feeling himself go numb. Fuck. He didn't know what was happening.

“Shit-- hold on, Charlie. Go into low power mode quickly,” Connor ordered in a panic, his tone the most serious Charlie had ever heard it. The younger android did as he was told and put himself into low power mode, feeling immediately different. Everything seemed to slow down and his brain couldn't process a thing that was happening. He wasn't scared anymore, he felt… amused. He wanted to laugh and laugh and-- he didn't even know what was going on anymore. He didn't care for that matter, either.

“Do you feel better?” Connor asked, however, all Charlie heard was what he wanted to hear. He smiled and giggled like an idiot, reaching out to boop Connor’s nose.

“Heh. You have a cute nose.” Charlie didn't know what he was saying. His filter was gone and he didn't even have it in him to care. All he could see was an adorable and hot man in front of him and he wanted every bit of him. “You're cute.”

Connor laughed nervously, blushing slightly in the cheeks. “Uh, Charlie?”

Basically, the android was drunk. Well, he had the traits of a drunk human, such as slurred speech, slow reaction times, wonky walking, no shame and absolutely no filter. He could say anything and not care afterwards, which probably wasn't the best when his crush was around. 

The older android picked up on this quickly and sighed, wrapping an arm around Charlie to help him up. "Come here you big lump--" he grunted as he heaved the larger android onto his feet. He slumped in Connor's arms and giggled, almost falling over his feet. He was practically clinging onto the other, his mouth agape and pressed against Connor’s neck as weak laughs and groans emitted from him.

Connor could feel the other’s warm saliva starting to build up on his neck and moved his head to the side, only to have Charlie’s head fall flat on his shoulder. He started to nibble mindlessly at Connor’s shoulder, darkening the colour of Connor’s white button up.

“How low did you set your power to?” His voice was strained as he put his energy into keeping Charlie up.

“I don’t knowww…” Charlie replied with a slur, peering up at Connor with the android’s shoulder half in his mouth. “I think likeee… 80%? Oopsies…”

“I’m surprised you're even operating at all. Just try not to fall, I’ll take you to the couch so I can find something to help you,” Connor explained, starting to walk Charlie over to the couch. The ‘drunk’ android was wobbly and weighing down heavily on Connor. He had stopped nibbling his shoulder to go back to rubbing his lips against his neck and nibbling again. Connor’s cheeks by now were beginning to turn a dark shade of blue as the sensitive skin of his neck was triggered over and over again by Charlie’s ministrations with his teeth and the tip of his tongue.

Connor tried to place him down on the couch carefully, but the android simply just flopped down with a groan and laid his entire body over the couch. He couldn’t even fit and his legs were hanging over the edge with his head titled uncomfortably on the armrest. 

"Just stay here, I'll go get Hank."

"Nnooo... Don't go..." Charlie whined, trying to sit up to reach and grab Connor. He couldn't even sit up far enough to get a finger even close to Connor and simply just whined like a child instead. He felt confined to the sofa and he didn't like it. He just wanted to touch Connor… 

“I'll be back in a jiffy, I promise. Hang tight, okay?”

Charlie folded his arms with a childish pout, nodding. “Fine.”

Connor couldn't help himself from smiling. “Thank you.” With that, he ran off down the hallway to Hank’s room to wake up him up.

It would only take him a minute to get back, but everything felt slower to Charlie. Everything looked weird. The walls looked like they were moving and seeming to twist and turn, the wallpaper looked like it was melting onto the floor. The walls felt like they were getting closer-- caving in on him until he was stuck to the couch forever. So he would never see Connor again. He started to whine and cry from the immediate fear and panic that overtook him, curling up the best he could. He heard a tapping sound behind him and a low droning noise. 

He's heard that noise before. That continuous hum that lingered in the back of his head… The tapping got louder. It sounded like someone tapping their nails against a surface. It also sounded like footsteps if a spider was big enough and made of metal to make such fast-paced, loud and metallic steps. 

Suddenly, Charlie felt hands on his head, threading through his hair and holding him close. Finally, Connor was back.

“Connor…”

There was no reply. Though, he heard a faint breathing above him and felt the warmth of another body behind his head. The tapping noise stopped but the humming noise was as loud as possible, though it wasn't screeching like a banshee at least. 

“Connor?” 

He looked up and screamed. Screamed the loudest he ever had-- dream and real life. His systems even jumped from the pure fear that shot through him. It was enough to get him moving off the couch, as he scrambled to the other side and desperately clung onto the armrest to gawk at the thing he had seen.

It was still fucking there. It was real. He was seeing it. What the fuck.

Standing at the other end of the couch was… Connor. No, it wasn't Connor. It was a monster. A distorted and mutilated version of Connor. Its body was emaciated and skeletal, its height towering both Connor and Charlie. Its limbs were slender and long, his hands partnered with fingers that were like knives that looked like they could cut through flesh like butter. His neck was really something else. Long and crooked at eerie angles with his head tilted to the side and staring Charlie down with wide, bulging eyes that didn't move or blink. His pupils were pin-like in his sockets with bulging and angry red veins climbing around the back of his eyeballs like vines. His jaw was hanging off his face with just flesh and wires keeping it connected. His mandible was the endoskeleton underneath, lined with needle-like teeth that looked painful to be bitten by. 

Its clothes were torn and shaggy, but obviously were Connor’s RK800 android uniform. Blue blood splattered its clothes and body, seeping out of deep wounds and running down its skin and skeleton in streaks of blue. 

It was frozen in place. Jaw hanging, head tilted, eyes large and unmoving… what the fuck, Charlie felt like he was about to explode from panic. His danger alerts were off the hook and his LED was beyond fucking red and flashing. He felt like he was about to shut down but he couldn't look away from the horrifying creature in front of him. Their eyes were locked in a staring contest that neither one of them wanted to be a part of. One wanted the other dead, and one wanted the other to never come back again.

Before Charlie could ask it who it was, Connor’s voice entered the room.

“Charlie?!” He was panicked. Probably because Charlie was screaming.

Charlie blinked and the creature was gone. He heard it scurry off and he swore he saw a spider-like figure crawling over the walls and ceilings in the corner of his vision the second he opened his eyes again. His heart couldn't bear with what was happening…

“Charlie? What happened?” Connor asked, concerned. Hank was behind him, looking a bit worried as well but mostly just confused and tired.

“I-- I… saw… something. I don't know what it was…”

“Don't worry,” the older android said, approaching Charlie and frowning as the other flinched. “It's just your systems hallucinating. There's nothing here but me, you, and Hank, okay?”

Charlie gulped and looked up at Connor’s soft, trusting eyes. He nodded, nestling into Connor’s chest and pulling him close. “Okay…”

Connor rested his hands on the other’s back and held him close, letting him take in all the warmth and comfort he needed.

“Hank, I need you to call Cyberlife for me.”

Hank groaned, shaking his head. “Can't you just call them with your LED thing?” He questioned, sounding rather tired and frustrated.

“I can't right now, I don't want to remove my focus from Charlie. Please.”

Hank went silent, screwed up his face and sighed. “Fine. What do you want?”

“I need them to send over someone that can help with Charlie's system failure. His thirium pump is trying to kill him and his stress levels are past 100%. I can't risk him trying to self-destruct. Please hurry.”

Hank nodded and ran to the phone, immediately calling Cyberlife and asking for support with an android. 

While Hank did that, Connor stayed with Charlie, holding him close and patting his hair down mindlessly as the android shook and breathed heavily. He was crying slightly and it made Connor’s heart sink just from hearing it. Every breath he took was shaky and his sobs were choked back as he rubbed his face into Connor’s jacket to silence them.

“It's okay, Charlie. Just keep breathing. You'll get through this,” Connor said softly, placing his face down in Charlie’s hair. He placed a chaste kiss on the top of his head, holding him tighter. “Help will be here soon.”


	7. Safe in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it's shortish? but enjoy this fluffy chapter either way :)

An engineer from Cyberlife visited Hank's residence to check up on Charlie and his thirium pump malfunction, but he couldn't find the problem behind it. His heart was beating rapidly and showing signs of obvious discomfort and stress, even though the android was in low power mode and clinging desperately to the one thing that made him feel safe. Connor, of course. He had his hands in a steel grip around Connor's wrists and was holding him as close as possible so he couldn't slip away. Charlie didn't want to see that _creature_ again.

"I can't find the cause of his unusual heart rate. It's... strange, honestly," the engineer explained, sitting down with Hank as the two androids stuck with each other. "His systems are unlike any I've ever seen before. He's not only the newest android model but also the most advanced prototype out there. If anything, I'd say only Kamski would know what's wrong with him, but I don't think he would do much."

Hank sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his face. It was always androids that got him stuck in frustrating situations like these.

"So, you can't do anything?"

The engineer shook his head, biting his lip. "Nope, sorry. The best course of action here is to see what's causing the irregular heart pattern and make sure the RK900 isn't set off by it again. I'll see what I can do back at Cyberlife though and get back to you guys." With a smile, the engineer patted Hank's shoulder and stood up, facing the androids.

"Alright," Hank started, sighing again. "Sounds good to me. Thanks for trying to help, at least."

Connor looked over at the pair, frowning. "Is he unfixable?" He asked, worried. 

"Sorry, Connor," the engineer apologised. "I don't know what's causing the problem and the RK900 won't remove itself from you--"

"His name is Charlie," Connor butted in sharply, peering back down at the other android to comb a hand through his hair. The poor thing was shaking. He hadn't stopped the entire time.

"Sorry. I'll be going now, but I'll see what I can do in the meantime." With a nod from Hank, the other man went on his way, leaving the house and driving away. Charlie listened to the sound of his car and once it was out of perceivable hearing range, he sighed and his tense body rested, along with his full-body shaking.

Connor kneeled down to an eye level with Charlie on the couch, making sure their hands stayed entwined. "It's okay, Charlie. I'll make sure you are always safe." He gave him a soft and trusting smile, cupping his face and brushing a caring thumb over the shaking android's cheek. 

Charlie nodded silently, leaning into the soft touch. He looked like he was purring, just without making the actual sound. He resembled a sleeping cat resting its face in a human's hand. Connor puckered his lips in thought, deactivating his skin from his hands. The immediate response from Charlie was pleasure and comfort, as the skin from his hands deactivated as well, as well as the patch of skin Connor was touching on his cheek.

They weren't going to try and interface with each other, but the feeling of polymer on polymer was better than feeling each other with artificial human skin.

"Try and return your power systems to normal," Connor suggested, keeping eye contact with Charlie. The other android nodded and closed his eyes, starting to slowly increase his power state. It only took a few seconds for him to accomplish, but once he did, his skin immediately reactivated and he backed away with a panicked jolt, looking up at Connor who abruptly looked bewildered. Charlie had no idea what was happening-- why the hell was he so close to Connor? It was frightening that his memory was warbled and showing him memories that he couldn't even remember making.

“Wh--What's going on?” He asked shakily, finding it hard to make eye contact with Connor. His heart hurt like a bitch as it pounded aggressively in his chest like it was trying to rip through his ribcage. He held a hand over his chest and grimaced. His simulated breathing had increased erratically.

"It's okay. You were just on low power mode because of an issue with your thirium pump. You're okay," Connor tried to comfort the other android the best he could, but fear was still plastered across Charlie's face. His stress levels did lower a little bit, but they were still dangerously high.

"Charlie, please. Trust me, you're safe. You're going to be fine."

The stressed android looked over at Connor and furrowed his brows, glancing over at Hank for a second. 

"What happened...?"

"You were in low power mode because your heart had a malfunction. An engineer from Cyberlife had a look at you to make sure you were okay, please, just calm down." Connor held his arms out, issuing Charlie to come and climb into them. The other android was silent and unmoving, but he desperately wanted to take Connor's offer. He wanted to crawl in his arms and never move again. So, he slowly crept forward and pressed himself against Connor, letting the android wrap his arms around him to hold him close and safe. Warmth slithered into Charlie's heart but the ache lingered, though, he did his best to push it to the back of his mind and make it the last thing he was thinking about. It was hard, but his love for Connor's affection was stronger than any sort of pain.

"Thanks, once again, for putting up with me..." Charlie muttered, holding back tears that threatened to slip out. Honestly, he really wanted to cry. He wanted to sob and wail, but he stopped himself. 

"Hey, I'm not 'putting up with you'. Don't say it like that. I'm here for you because you're my friend and I'm not going to stand around and let you suffer, alright?" The way Connor declared it held an angry tone, but a good angry. It was a way of truly showing Charlie that he cared and meant what he was saying. He wasn't lying to make Charlie feel better, he really, _really_ meant what he said. That's when he finally couldn't hold back his tears. But... these were happy tears. He felt pure warmth ignite within him and his brain didn't even know what it was.

"You're the best," he chuckled slightly, holding onto Connor tighter. "Seriously, I would die without you."

Connor seemed to freeze for a second but it wasn't a long enough freeze to make Charlie worried. "Yeah, maybe. But that's why I'll always be here for you."

They didn't leave the couch for a while. They eventually just got up and sat there together for a while, watching TV and enjoying the quiet. One time Charlie looked back at Hank who was walking past and saw the human wink. Charlie blushed slightly and smiled, looking over at Connor. The android was silent but happy, his arm around Charlie's shoulders and pressed up warm against his side.

Everything was okay. His heart may have hurt, but it was okay. Connor was here and Charlie knew that meant he was safe.


	8. The Warm Sensation.

The next day Charlie mostly just spent alone. He needed to relax after yesterday and try and figure out why his thirium pump was malfunctioning. He tried not to take into account that his heart stopped aching once he wasn't thinking about Connor which only made him more worried, so he tried his best to divert his thinking processes to something that wouldn't cause his stress levels to rise. He was fed up with feeling stressed and in pain all the time. He shouldn't even feel pain-- he was a robot-- but with his bad luck, of course, he had to be in pain constantly.

Charlie needed to shower. It was a comforting pastime, even though he didn't really need to shower for the same reason humans do. He stood in the bathroom in only his boxers, checking himself out in the mirror. Every time he saw his face, he thought about Connor. He didn't exactly take into account that they were basically twins, but androids didn't really have that capacity to see why that would be wrong. Either way, they weren't actually related, so it really didn't matter. His eyes trailed down his body until they reached his thirium pump regulator, the cylindrical biocomponent that sat directly in the centre of his torso. He brushed his fingers over it.

Maybe he could inspect it and see if there were any problems. Pulling out the regulator would hurt, but it was worth it. He pressed down on the regulator and slowly pulled it out, biting his lip as his thirium pump immediately started to fault. He needed to be quick. He scanned the regulator, gaining information about it before pushing it back inside his torso, sighing as his heart started to pump normally again.

He went back over the info he gathered about his regulator and sighed. Fuck, there was nothing wrong with it. It was working perfectly fine and yet here he was, wanting to just sleep forever so he wouldn't have to feel the ache in his chest. He felt bad for the humans that suffered from depression or heartbreak. That constant strain on the heart and emotions sounded like hell when you couldn't just push it behind other systems and programs running through your head at any given moment.

With another sigh, he rubbed a hand over his face and looked back into the mirror. He froze. His stress levels spiked to 80% immediately and he wasn't sure if he was in another nightmare or not. He couldn't move his limbs from the absolute shock his systems had just withstood within the span of an actual second from what his eyes were perceiving.

It was back. That horrific, tall and deformed figure was back. It stood behind Charlie with an unmoving expression, staring directly into his eyes with its own wide, bulging eyes. Thirium slowly seeped from under the thing's eyeballs. It trickled down its face in rivulets of navy blue, dropping to the floor once it reached the point where its jaw was hanging halfway off its face. Not a single muscle of the creature was moving. Neither was Charlie, honestly.

It took him another twenty seconds of staring into its eyes (and realising after ten seconds that it wasn't blinking at all) to finally move. His stress levels now at 85%, he turned around and almost shut down when he found that the creature wasn't standing behind him at all. When he looked back into the mirror, it seemed to have reappeared, but it was now standing closer to Charlie than it had been before. It was towering over him with slender limbs that were almost as long as Charlie’s entire body and he swore it looked ready to bite a chunk of his head off. 

Charlie noticed how the creature was missing the entire middle section of its torso, where just it's heart hung and pumped slowly for Charlie to watch in a silent panic. The tubes circulating through it were gleaming with thirium that seemed to move gradually to the beat of its exposed heart.

That sound, that low droning sound that lingered in the back of his head was back, too. It wasn't loud even though the creature was so close to him, but it wasn't something he could ignore. It was different this time, though. It sounded more like screeching, like nails on a blackboard. It was a constant sound that didn't dip or pause or change pitch or volume. It made his heart race and his stress levels spike. He swore he could feel the warmth of the android behind him and he swore he could hear it breathing and the sound of its heart beating in its torn open chest.

Charlie realised that it wasn't going to move. It had been two minutes and it hadn't done anything but stare. It didn't move or blink. It looked… frozen. His stress levels went down to 60% but the ringing sound continued, making it impossible to get stress levels below 50%. He needed to speak to this monster. He needed to know what it was and what it wanted before the curiosity ate him alive (or worse, before the monster ate him alive instead).

His voice trembled as he tried talking. “What… what do you want?”

The disfigured android did not speak nor move. However, after ten seconds passed, its head tilted to the side like a rusting animatronic and Charlie jolted in surprised. Its body made scratchy sounds and wobbled like a loose wooden board. A warbled noise emitted from it like a broken radio and its eyes never left Charlie’s.

“... who are you? Please. Please tell me," Charlie pleaded again, fear coating his tone.

_“Ronnoc.”_

Charlie furrowed his brows in what could only be described as surprise and confusion. _What?_ He couldn't tell whether it had told him its name or just said random garbled mess. 

“Is Ronnoc your name?”

It nodded.

“Ronnoc…” What probably would have taken a human a while to figure out only took Charlie a second, as he reversed the familiar letters of the strange name and made a much more realistic and ordinary name. His eyes went wide and Ronnoc almost seemed to smile like it knew what Charlie was thinking.

Ronnoc... Connor. It was his name spelt backwards.

The android monster seemed to immediately know that Charlie realised what his name meant. A broken chuckle left it's disfigured mouth before it waved menacingly with scrawny, long fingers and slithered away into the corner of the room, literally sinking into the wall like a horrific spider creature as its slender and unnaturally elongated limbs spread outward and then sunk away with the rest of its body.

Charlie really had no idea what had just happened. He was in shock at what his eyes had perceived and he was starting to believe he was having another nightmare. Though... the last time he saw Ronnoc, it wasn't a nightmare. It was a hallucination. Something inside Charlie was malfunctioning but he couldn't find out what it was. He assumed it was his thirium pump, but when the hell has that ever controlled what he saw?

With a shake of his head, Charlie finished stripping himself down of his remaining clothes and walked to the shower, stopping as he heard knocking at the door that gave his systems a jolt.

"You good?" He heard Connor ask from the other side of the door. He was quite the worrywart.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Alright."

He listened to the footsteps fade out and sighed, turning the shower on and hopping under the stream of water. He couldn't feel the temperature of the water but he still rathered it warm, letting it rush over his body and clean away the few instances of dirt or dust that clung to his artificial skin. His hair, being fake, didn't get dirty either. He quickly deactivated his skin and turned on his synthetic touch sensors to relish the way the water ran down his limbs, over his face and down his body.

He hated the fact that the only thing that touched him the way he wanted to be touched was water. Which was, in a way, completely understandable, because there was an extremely low possibility of Connor (or anyone) letting his hands wander all over Charlie's naked body anytime soon. He didn't even know why he wanted Connor to do that. He couldn't think of any reason why that would be beneficial to the both of them but it made Charlie's legs quake whenever he thought about it. 

Charlie leaned forward slightly and rested his head against the tiled wall of the shower, clutching his hands into tight fists as he bit down hard onto his bottom lip. It wasn't just his heart this time, it was his groin again. It frightened him, since the last time those two made feelings together he ended up passing out twice and almost dying. Weak, hiss like sounds emitted from his mouth as he tried to cope with both the stress and the arousal-- that he had very little knowledge of-- coursing through him. 

When he closed his eyes, he could imagine it. He could imagine the way Connor's hands would roam over his chest, down his hips and thighs. He shivered at the thought of it. He wanted Connor's lips on his neck, sucking and biting at his skin and trailing down his back. Charlie wanted something else, but he could never pin down what it was. It was something carnal, something that would finally seal the bond between them. Whenever he tried to think of it, he knew that whatever it was, it would fill him. Fill him of what-- he never could figure out-- but he _desperately_ wanted it. This was the first time he had craved that desire while his groin was feeling things too and it almost felt like it was _meant_ for that desire.

He kept his skin deactivated as he turned the shower off and walked out, wrapping a towel around his hips and heading to the mirror. He searched for Ronnoc but was unable to find him anywhere. 

Thankful to be alone, he checked himself out in the mirror for a moment. He always did prefer android base forms to their synthetic human skin suits, since he really did favour androids over humans in general. He couldn't determine the reason why he hated humans, but there was a spark deep within him that had been ignited by something a human had done to him in the past that he couldn't remember. It was hard to decide whether it was better off not knowing what happened or if he really did need to know what happened. It was like choosing over becoming traumatised or remaining blind to your past forever.

Another knock on the door, jolting Charlie.

“Yes?”

“Can I come in?”

Charlie bit his lip and made it look like he wasn't just checking himself out in the mirror. “Yes, come on in.”

The door opened, revealing a Connor with slightly dishevelled hair and an outfit that was basically any random thing he could find in the closet. To be completely honest, he looked like a busy housewife.

“Hello! I have your dry clothes,” he greeted warmly, holding Charlie’s (mostly black) clothing items in his arms.

The other android nodded once to show his acknowledgment. “Thank you, Connor.” He grabbed his clothes and blushed slightly as he almost took his towel off while Connor was still watching. Whether or not Connor wanted a strip show, Charlie was not doing that in front of his crush.

“I'll talk to you when you're finished. I have some outing plans that you might like.”

“Ah, good. I've been wanting to get out and about again.”

Connor smiled and left the bathroom, leaving Charlie some alone time to get dressed. 

It didn't matter where they went for an outing, he just needed to get his mind off some things. _A lot of things._


	9. Sweater Weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charlie's pet cactus is literally my exact cactus i have at home. i had to give him my weird cactus obsession im sorry

Just as Connor had promised, he discussed his outing ideas with Charlie once the android had left the bathroom and entered the living room, sitting down with him on the couch with the TV playing quietly in the background. Charlie was dressed in his favourite black turtleneck and pants, almost completely curled up on the couch from the way he was sitting. His hands were entwined with a patient finger tapping his knuckles as he watched Connor with attentive eyes.

Connor had a white shirt and denim pants on, as usual. He had almost six different plain white button-ups and way too many pants. He could never be too careful. 

"I was thinking we could go shopping," Connor started, adjusting his elbow on the couch's headrest to rest his chin in his hand.

“Shopping?” Charlie tested, perplexed. He wasn’t expecting Connor to suggest shopping of all things. It did sound enjoyable to go out with the other and perhaps buy some things to lighten up his life a little bit. He's never gone to a store before so it would be a whole new experience for him. Well, other than the pet rescue where he got Nine, he has never been to an actual store. It sounded interesting to bring new things home, like clothes or objects he has never even seen before.

Connor furrowed his brows, worried by Charlie's tone. “Do you not like shopping?”

“No no, it’s not that. I would love to go shopping; I just don’t think I have the money right now to do so.”

“I can pay for you.”

Charlie shook his head. “No, you don’t have to do that for me. It’s fine, really.”

Connor reached forward and grabbed Charlie's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Seriously, it's fine. You've had a bad week and I think it would be nice for you to have a fun day out."

A warm feeling engulfed Charlie and a small smile spread across his face. "Alright. I don't think anything I can say would change your mind, anyway."

The smaller android chuckled and let go of Charlie's hand, sitting back in his original position. Charlie started to hold the hand Connor touched close to him, absentmindedly not brushing over the area as if not to remove the feeling Connor left on his skin. 

"When do you want to go?"

"Is later tonight okay?"

Connor nodded. "We can go out tonight. The snow is especially pretty at night."

Oh, the snow. Charlie forgot it was snowing. It saddened him that he couldn't feel the coldness of the snow, but at least he could acknowledge its beauty. It looked so soft and gorgeous blanketing the city, turning the silver and blue hues of the city's modern-day theme into a bright and delightful winter wonderland, with android and human children alike playing and jumping around in the snow while laughing with joy.

"Agreed," he replied, clasping his hands together again to rub absentmindedly at his knuckles. He could imagine Connor in the snow and how it would fall daintily onto his clothes in specks of fluffy white snowflakes. His hair would be full of snow and the happiest grin would be bound to his perfect face.

Charlie couldn't wait to see it with his own eyes. Only another three hours and his gay thoughts would become reality.

-0-

“Charlie, isn't that basically the same thing you're already wearing?” Connor quizzed, raising a brow at the choice of clothing Charlie had chosen.

Clothes shopping was the first activity they decided on doing. Long story short, Charlie wasn't the best at it. You would think there wasn't a certain amount of skill in shopping for clothes, but apparently, there was. The android tended to keep finding clothes he already had or things that didn't even suit him at all. He tried on a bra, a midriff for teenage girls, a literal g-string, and a short skirt. Connor didn't mind the dresses and more feminine clothing Charlie tried on, and honestly, he even let Charlie put a long dress in their to-buy bag.

“I mean… I guess,” Charlie returned, looking down at his turtleneck and noticing how similar the two pieces of clothing were. They were both black and made of the same material. “I could just buy another?”

“You have two black turtlenecks back home, I think you’re good.”

Charlie huffed. "Yeah, true." He put the collared sweater back and resumed searching for clothes. He always tended to drift towards the longer clothes, like pants or sweaters. He didn't favour to wear outfits with short sleeves and such, he liked being all snuggled up in clothing.

Finally, he chose something that actually suited him. It was a pale blue sweater with sleeves longer than his arms and other pastel colours that were striped across the cuffs. Once Charlie was in it, he couldn't get out of it. It wasn't a turtleneck, but the collar was slightly covering his neck and only added to the huge cuddle factor the sweater wrapped him in.

Connor chuckled at the other android's reaction to the oversized sweater. "Do you want that?"

Charlie nodded like an enthusiastic child that desperately wanted a toy.

Another smile and chuckle from Connor, "Alright, let's buy it then."

-0-

The look on Charlie's face as he walked by a plant store was something akin to absolute marvel and admiration. Eyes wide, lips twisted into a delightful grin and hands clasped together, he bounded towards the shop and pointed at a set of cacti sitting near the window.

"Do you like cacti, Connor?" He questioned, clasping his hands together again.

"Yes, actually. I've always been interested in flora but I've never had the pleasure of buying any plants."

"Do you wanna get some?"

"Hell yeah." 

Charlie smiled wider and grabbed his friend's hand, pulling him inside the store. The two both searched around for a bit, looking at all the cute and small cacti and having Charlie obsess over the succulents. He started to pet all the fuzzy cacti and pinpoint each plant that caused small amounts of damage to his skin. He didn't want to start bleeding in the shop. 

"Have you found a cactus yet?" Connor eventually asked after about twenty minutes of looking around and finding Charlie sitting inside a circle of succulents. He looked like a cult leader and he was honestly confused why and how he found a cult circle of cacti. He was worried he had built it himself.

"Also, why is there a circle of cacti around you?"

"No reason."

Connor squinted. " _Charlie._ "

"... Okay, I swear I found them like this. But yes, I did find one." He stood up and picked up a plant, showing it to Connor. It was a small fuzzy cactus with small pink flowers growing from it. It looked rather healthy and adorable, too.

"Good choice!" The other android commented, smiling. "I knew you would end up getting one of those types."

"You know me all too well."

Before leaving the store, Charlie made sure to take the other plants out of a cult circle formation. Yeah... He definitely didn't find them like that.

-0-

The pair soon found themselves outside once it was late, walking along store windows and treading through the layer of snow that had built up on the concrete path. It was still snowing which made for quite a beautiful scene, especially once it landed on Connor's hair and face.

The colourful lights from the window shops lit up the darkened street like a Christmas tree on a cold winter's night. Patches of what would be enveloped by moonlight were instead yellow, green, red or blue, creating a path of rainbows in the cold and dark night. The snow blanketed the ground in mounds or thin sheets, decorating the rainbow path with snowflakes that made the city look alive and vivid, rather than miserable and gloomy. 

Charlie and Connor walked side by side, checking out window stores and looking out at the view of the city. Connor had seen the city too many times to really take into account of how pretty it was, but Charlie hadn't. He thought the city looked beautiful. The buildings were lit up much like the street, just with more modern and sleek colours, rather than a rainbow. Entire spaces were taken up with huge, digital billboards that now showed other ads instead of androids. Buying an android was slavery, now. They couldn't show that to the entire city.

While staring out at the city, he hardly even noticed Connor moving from where he was beside the other. Before he knew it, there were hands in Charlie's sweater pockets with an entire figure of warmth planted on his back and pressed up soundly against him. 

"Sorry, just felt a little snuggly in the cold weather."

"... We don't feel the cold, Connor--"

"Don't think too hard about it. Just keep walking."

With his heart hardly unable to contain itself within his chest, Charlie kept walking with Connor draped up warmly behind him with his hands in his sweater's pockets. Charlie soon found his own hands in the same pockets and entwined with Connor's.

The other android didn't even seem to mind and the warmth from their hands was absolutely luxurious. Their skin soon deactivated which left but just the white base underneath, making the touch more relaxing and intimate for them both.

When they got home, Charlie ended up being the one behind Connor with his hands in his pockets. They slept soon after, though Charlie had to put up his cactus before they did anything, of course.


	10. Serial Killer at Large.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait!!! i recently started watching Hannibal and got absolutely enthralled but at the same time i became unmotivated to write. this chapter was originally meant to be set in the police station before i had even started watching Hannibal, but with new ideas from the show, this chapter was able to finally be written and add more depth to the plot. enjoy! <3

Eventually, it was time to get back to work at the police station. Most of the minor crimes and other murders had been taken care of by other android detectives and officers while Connor was on leave with Charlie. For Connor, seeing Gavin again definitely wasn't going to be enjoyable but at least he had dialled down his racist comments after the revolution. The same went with any other officers or detectives that had harassed Connor or other androids beforehand.

Connor and Charlie had arrived at the station with Hank, the trio earning a warm smile from the receptionist android and a less warm welcome from Gavin. He walked up to the duo of androids with Tina beside him-- who was much kinder and sweeter than Gavin in every way possible-- and folded his arms, giving Connor a death glare that was supposed to bore deep into his sockets, but instead, it just made Connor want to rip Gavin's eyes out. It wasn't the most delightful thought, but hey, he couldn't help it.

Charlie was rather perplexed by the interaction between the human and Connor. He felt somehow protective as well, as he didn't know why the human male was being hostile towards his friend.

"Sorry to butt in here, but is there any reason you're giving Connor the stink eye?" He asked the human softly, trying not to sound harsh.

Gavin turned to face him, scoffing. "Well, well, well. Other-Connor is back, hey?" He puffed out his chest and walked closer, inspecting him with a flick of his eyes.

"...back?" Charlie pondered, confused. He had no memory of the station, even though he knew he worked here. Now that he thought about it, how did he end up at Hank's house if he hadn't been here before? His LED flashed yellow as a tumble of confused thoughts flooded his head. If he was given any more time to think, he would have conked out for sure, but Connor broke him out of his train of thought.

"He's just commenting on the influx of detective androids after the revolution, don't worry!"

The upgraded model glanced at Connor, noticing the hidden panic on his face and the way his LED flashed red and yellow. His stress levels too were rising. Why was he so worried?

He didn't want to ask so he replied instead. "Alright..." He suddenly felt more wary of listening in to conversations to find out what exactly was happening, but he'd leave that for later.

Even Gavin looked confused, but he didn't say anything about it. "So, Other-Connor, you got a name or what?"

"Charlie," he replied quickly, his posture immediately straightening. "I like to be called Charlie. What's yours?"

"Gavin Reed." That was the first time Charlie had heard him say something without such an aggressive and harsh tone, but he assumed that wouldn't last long. He could tell Gavin wasn't the nicest of humans, especially with the way he was treating androids even after the revolution. Some humans could never let go of the past.

"Interesting." He looked over at Connor, who's LED was now back to a neutral blue. However, he still looked uncomfortable. Charlie was determined to change that. "Now, if you don't mind, Connor and I have better things to do than stand around and chit-chat. Goodbye, Gavin Reed." He lightly grabbed Connor's wrist and pulled him away, walking to the other android's desk.

They heard Gavin scoff behind them and mutter something under his breath before trudging away.

Connor chuckled in amusement as he sat down at his desk. Charlie stood near him, peering down at him with a slight smile. He was only smiling from hearing Connor laugh, but he didn't know why the other was laughing in the first place.

"Wow, Charlie, nice work back there. I've never seen Gavin give up so fast."

"He appeared arrogant, so I thought it would be best to stop conversing with him."

The smaller android nodded in acknowledgement. "Gavin is a prick, as I've heard Hank say. So I think it would also be good to not get too close with him, as well."

"With pleasure."

Hank's voice suddenly emerged out of the blue as his face appeared between the two from the other side of the desk. "Hey, lovebirds, sorry to stop you from chatting but I need you both to check out the most recent crime scene of the Android-Napper."

"The Android-Napper?" Charlie tested, cocking a brow. That was certainly a peculiar name.

"They're the most recent serial killer in Detroit, their killings just started after the revolution. He or she primarily targets androids by kidnapping and then brutally mangling them to death, as their name would suggest. They're so goddamn good at it that Cyberlife can't even get the androids working again to check their memory. We have no idea who this killer is and we're not close to finding out, either."

"Oh, sounds like another human that can't let go of the past."

Connor nudged him playfully. "As much as I agree with you, we have to take this seriously. I don't want you getting kidnapped and hurt."

"Likewise."

They shared warm smiles and Hank rolled his eyes. "Stop flirting, you're gonna make me sick." They both blushed blue. "Let's get going."

-0-

The crime scene was much different than Charlie was expecting. In his mind, he expected a dead android lying in a pool of thirium, but this was much worse.

First off, its entire head was mangled to the point where it wasn't even connected to its neck anymore and had been purposely molded to look like an angel's halo. All the biocomponents inside its head had been smashed and torn apart, leaving cobalt android life juice leaking from what had been its head. The eyeballs were intact, but not intact in its head. They were both on the ground under the corpse, staring lifelessly at the sky above.

None of the limbs was attached to the torso in their original place. Instead, the arms were attached messily to its back with gaping wounds carved deep and long across his arm, leaking thirium that poured in rivulets down the android's body. The fingers on the hands were spread apart, looking like they were reaching for the sky in an attempt to escape to a reality better than the one it had died in. 

The legs were nowhere to be seen, but it could only be assumed the killer had either kept them as a trophy or for something more sinister.

By the way the corpse had been hung up with hooks connected to fishing wire holding it in the air from scaffolding, it looked like an angel. The sunlight shone behind it cast a silhouette that gave it an eerie but intelligent presentation, like the killer knew that the light from the sun would create such a light at that exact time. It seemed too good to be true, but here it was, right in front of Charlie's eyes.

Last but not least, its torso had been ripped open and the biocomponents inside were gone, leaving but a barren and torn chest of despair and pain.

"Delightful," Gavin commented, obviously sarcastic. Even he knew this was ten different flavours of fucked up.

The investigators and officers that had got to the crime scene before them were currently getting the body down from where it was suspended in the air. Hank was over with them, chatting to gather more information about the corpse than what was given to them by sight alone.

"Is this the kind of crimes you see a lot?" Charlie asked, facing Connor. 

"Sort of. This killer seems to have more brutal and theatric murders than the rest as if he's trying to make artworks out of his crimes." 

"Do you know if he's human or not?"

Connor furrowed his brows. "Well, I've never thought of it, but I guess we don't know for sure."

That's the reason why Charlie was the upgraded model. He was more capable of thinking outside the box and for himself, even though he was designed to be more obedient and unable to become deviant.

"I'm starting to like this detective job already."

"That's good."

Hank walked back over to the gang with an officer by his side. "It's definitely the Android-Napper again. Most of the thirium has been drained and the biocomponents were all removed or destroyed," he declared rightfully, rubbing the nape of his neck. It had been months with no link between any of the victims or any way to pin down who the murderer was. They left no DNA evidence which left the police with only the choice out of the millions of civilians who lived in Detroit. Long story short, it was impossible to pick out the killer.

"And still no links between the victims?" Tina asked, her arms folded.

"Nope. We got nothing... unless the RK boys here wanna try and investigate the scene."

Connor nodded. "That can be arranged. Though, I believe I will have the same results as I've had every time beforehand."

"Who cares. It's worth a shot."

The android nodded again and headed to where they were lowering the body, Charlie following suit. The investigators and forensics let Connor and Charlie pass, leading them to the mangled corpse. It was even worse up close, with each detail of how it was carved up in crystal clear view.

"Charlie, since this is your first investigation, you can analyse her first."

He was surprised Connor could even tell the android's gender from how mangled the corpse was, but nodded anyway. His insides were quivering with excitement and his thirium pump pounded without aching for once.

With two attentive fingers, he analysed the thirium. It was fresh, with the carvings in her arms and the decapitation happening only hours beforehand. The torso had been viciously ripped open by something with jagged edges, most presumably a powered tool of some kind. All the biocomponents had been snatched, likely occurring within the same time frame as the other injuries.

The arms connected to the android's back had been welded on, obvious by the melted skin and polymer that surrounded each arm. What was not obvious beforehand were twines of fishing wire that had been singlehandedly sewn onto the arm and back in a way that resembled the membrane of a bat's wing. That unmistakably coincided with Charlie's theory that the victim was intended to resemble an angel.

"The victim was hung up with handmade wings welded to its back to resemble an angel of a religious nature," he announced, looking back at the investigators and Connor. "The killer is trying to tell us something. He could be delusional, perhaps believing that what he is doing to these androids is an act of worshipping. If the killer is human, he probably believes that androids are demons and can be redeemed and sent back to Hell. If the killer is an android, it could be for entirely different reasons, as androids don't worship human religions."

The group around him chatted amongst themselves. Connor walked up beside Charlie, giving him a pleased pat on the shoulder.

"For your first time, that was perfect. Better than I ever did."

"I'm an upgraded model, it's what I was made for."

"I can tell. They'll take the body back to the station to investigate further and build up from your ideas. You did a good job, Charlie."

"Thank you, Connor." There it was, the heartache. This time, it came with the feeling of pride as well. It was less painful this time around, but only because of the mix of emotion. 

He would have said more, but his eyes froze on something he saw behind Connor. He knew it wasn't there and that is was just apart of his malfunctioning mind, but it terrified him to the core.

Ronnoc stood just inches away from Connor, towering over him with a hanging jaw dripping with drool like it was salivating over a delicious feast. His hands were wide open and his fingers looked ready to grab Connor's head and crush it into a bloody pulp. His fingers trailed down Connor's body and sat over his chest like they could slip into his flesh and rip his biocomponents right out of his torso.

It sounded oddly a lot like the crime scene. It was almost as if Ronnoc was trying to tell him something by the way he was salivating, but Charlie didn't want to believe it. The religious crazed human sounded more beliveable than whatever Ronnoc was trying to tell him.

_When has there ever been recorded evidence on android cannibals existing, anyway?_


	11. don't leave me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABEY! and with ANGST! sorry for being gone for so long! ive been in other fandoms and lost motivation to write this fic, but today i woke up motivated to actually... do things? welp, anyway, ill be trying to write this fic more often. i promise. hope yall like the angst! >:^)

Everything got worse when Charlie started to see Ronnoc more often. He kept waking up to Ronnoc sitting over him, staring at him with wide, livid red eyes that _never_ blinked. Charlie had become so accustomed to seeing that every morning, that he would reach for Connor's hand and hold it until Ronnoc disappeared.

Luckily, Connor never questioned it, and most of the time he was asleep, anyway.

Though, it wasn't just then when he saw Ronnoc. He'd walk out to the kitchen and see him standing there; watching silently. He'd sit in the living room with Ronnoc standing behind him, watching everything he did with a crooked neck, wide eyes and a horrifying smile. He'd be working at the police station and have Ronnoc standing in the corner of the room, endlessly staring.

After a week, it drove Charlie mad. He needed to tell Connor. He couldn't suffer alone anymore.

He had grabbed Connor's wrist and dragged him onto the couch, ignoring Ronnoc's piercing glare from behind him. Ronnoc couldn't do anything to stop him; he was a hallucination. Hallucinations can't hurt him.

"What's wrong, Charlie?" Was the first thing Connor asked, understandably. Charlie wasn't one to be pushy and panicked like this, and his wide eyes and furrowed brows probably aided Connor in realising Charlie was not in a good state of mind.

"I-- I don't know how to say this, but... Something is following me. It's not real but... Oh, God. I can't cope with it anymore..." Charlie blurted his words out, his voice trembling and artificial tears ready to pour from his eyes because of the absolute panic that wracked his systems. 

He continued when he calmed slightly. "Its name is Ronnoc. It looks like you but... Monstrous."

"Ronnoc?"

"I figured out it was your name but backwards. I think its a system malfunction but it's only getting worse."

Connor furrowed his brows, looking down at Charlie's lap. He grabbed his friend's hands, looking back into his eyes. Charlie's heart started to ache and a warning rose up in his vision, blocking half of his love's face...

"Charlie... I have something I need to tell you. Hank told me not to talk about it, but I think it might be the reason you're malfunctioning," he said softly, squeezing Charlie's hand. He could feel Charlie starting to become overwhelmed. "Don't stress out. It's not as bad as you think." That worked slightly, but Charlie was still panicking.

The panicked android didn't say anything in reply. He sat there silently, watching Connor with keen eyes. 

"This might be a little shocking at first, but hear me out. Do you remember anything before you first saw me in Hank's living room?"

Charlie shook his head. Now that he thought about it, that was strange. He couldn't remember anything from before then. _Why?_

"That's what I thought. Your memory was wiped after you ran away. You were a new android, an upgraded version of me, and they all thought you weren't able to deviate. Since your model was built before humans made peace with androids, you had a protocol that would kill you if you were to deviate."

Charlie's eyes narrowed in concern. "Wait, what?"

"Let me finish. As I was saying, you ran away. You had wandered into dangerous territories with people that despised androids. They almost killed you, but you got away. You were left scared and broken. It had been months before someone found you, and that someone was me."

The other's blues eye lit up immediately. He thought, perhaps, that was the reason why he was so obsessed with Connor. He saved his life in a past-life he couldn't even remember.

"I remember what you were like when I found you. You were covered in deep gashes, most of your skin was missing. You were so deranged that you tried to attack me. But it didn't matter how much you threatened me or pointed a knife at me, I still knew you were just a scared android." He smiled slightly, rubbing a tentative thumb over his friend's knuckles.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie. I'm sorry I can't help you. I'm _killing you_ , and neither of us can even stop it from happening..."

"Maybe."

Connor glanced up at him, perplexed. "Maybe?"

"I wouldn't deviate if you weren't around, right?"

"We don't know for sure, but most likely. What are you getting at?"

Charlie took a shaky inward breath, holding back tears. _No... I can't leave him. I love him._

"If, and only if, things start to get too serious, I may have to leave for my own good."

Connor nodded. "I understand. I hope it doesn't get any worse. I can't imagine a world without you by my side."

Another painful twinge ripped at Charlie's chest. He didn't want to leave Connor alone, but he also didn't want to hurt so much that there was no point in even seeing him. He too, couldn’t imagine a world without Connor, but he worried that his condition would get so bad that he would go blind.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’ll stay with you until the end.” They shared small but meaningful smiles, inching closer.

A hand gripped around Charlie’s shoulder. Long, spindly fingers dug into his skin, drawing thirium. He didn’t make a sound, as he didn’t want to frighten his friend. He ignored Ronnoc, no matter how rough and deep he dug those claws into him. Warning messages were almost completely blocking the android sitting in front of him, but he stayed strong. He wanted to cry.

He really wanted to cry. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t, not now.

“Please stay here with me, Connor.”

He nodded, moving closer. “I won’t leave.”

“Thank you.”

Ronnoc laughed throatily. His laugh was hoarse and deep; mocking and rude. _’He won’t stay around forever,’_ he chuckled, breathing warm, wet breaths into Charlie’s ear. _’Leave while you still can. It’s only going to get worse.’_

No. He wouldn’t leave.

_’You’re making a mistake, RK900. You and RK800 will suffer the consequences. Don’t say I told you so.’_

He didn’t care. If Connor fucking killed him, he wouldn’t be upset. As long as he had Connor around, everything would be fine. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t see Connor over the software instability warnings flooding his vision or hardly hear him over the blaring alarm and the loud, endless drone in his head… It didn’t matter.

Oh, God. He really needed to cry.


	12. gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont @ me

It only got worse as time went on. A week had passed and Charlie could hardly remember what Connor's face looked like. It was so painful to avoid Connor's touch and his eyes. It was so hard to push him away as if he were toxic when he wasn't toxic at all. It felt like Charlie was pushing away a vital life source that would surely kill him if it left, but would also kill him if it stayed.

He couldn't deal with this. The only coping mechanism he had was the dogs. He sat down on the couch, one hand patting Sumo's head and his other hand scratching Nine behind the ear. His head was screaming at him. _Ronnoc_ was screaming at him. He could see the reflection of Ronnoc's piercing eyes on the television screen. They were staring right at him. 

" _What do you want_ ," Charlie snapped, more hostile than ever. He was usually tame and understanding, but he had been pushed past his breaking point too many times in too little time.

The eyes in the reflection glanced down. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you..."

 _That wasn't Ronnoc._ "No, Connor!" He blurted out, "I thought you were Ronnoc. I'm not mad at you!" He stood up from the couch, sharply turning to face his friend as he did so.

"Oh, okay." His quiet voice was crushing Charlie from the inside. He was never this quiet. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go for a walk on the beach with me. The weather is nice today."

Charlie felt his voice go soft, too. Through the pain in his chest, he answered the best he could. "Sure." He knew how harmful Connor was for his worsening condition, but he needed this. He needed to see how beautiful the other android was with the sun beaming down on his perfect complexion with the wind blowing through his hair as the waves crashed among the sandy beach around them. He wanted to see a sparkle in Connor's baby brown eyes again. He missed it when his eyes had a light behind them.

He missed _his_ Connor. A tear fled his eye, but he quickly wiped it away. It was better off not letting Connor know of his distress. Androids fed off each other's anxieties, and he didn't want to ruin his beautiful boy's day out.

Connor's face lit up with a grin that meant a thousand words. "Thank you, Charlie."

"It's no trouble, Con." He approached his friend, outstretching an open hand. "May I?" The other android gently smiled, sliding his hand into Charlie's. Their hands slotted together like a jigsaw missing its final piece. Connor had always been that final piece for Charlie. He just hoped that he was Connor's final piece, too.

"Let's get going," Charlie advised warmly, pulling gently at Connor's hand to lead him out of the house. He forcefully kept his stress levels at minimal to make sure nothing would screw up their beach walk. It was certainly harder than it sounded considering that Charlie's chest felt like it was being torn in two. The facade appeared to work, though. Connor was smiling to himself and leaning against Charlie's side.

 _Dammit, why must he hurt me like this?_ Connor was like a drug. When Charlie took him, it felt so good but hurt so bad. When he would withdrawal, it felt so good but it hurt more than he ever possibly imagine. He couldn't live without him, but he couldn't live with him, either. It was impossible to choose. Charlie sometimes believed he would rather die than never see Connor again, but then again... death scared him. For any android, death was horrifying. It held the strongest emotion of all: fear. That itself could deviate any android. Androids didn't have an afterlife; they were just a bunch of wires and lights. Everything would just end without any warning or certificate for participating in the game of life.

"Are you okay, Charlie?" He heard Connor ask worryingly. The other android smiled small, glancing down at him.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking about things." 

"Okay... You looked worried," his voice went quieter. "What are you thinking about?"

 _I'm thinking how much I would love to be able to see your eyes without my own eyes blocking you out--_ "Not much," he said softly, voice close to breaking. "I was thinking about the future. Our future."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I don't want to bring upsetting topics into our beach walk."

Connor smiled and brushed his head against Charlie's shoulder. "It's okay, big guy," he chuckled, "You can say whatever you want with me."

 _If only I could._ "That's good to know. But I think I'd rather not talk about darker topics now. I wanna know about you, Connor."

"About me?"

He nodded, "Yes. How did you meet Lieutenant Anderson?"

A brief smile swept across Connor's pulled lips. "I met him in a bar. I had been assigned to collect Hank since he was my partner, but he was rather intoxicated. I had to persuade him to get him out of the bar so he could proceed to complete the assignment he had been assigned. Hank wasn't too fond of androids at the time."

"How long did it take him to realise you weren't just a machine?"

"I think he started to treat me as an equal when he saw his son in me. Hank's son had died prior which caused him an intense measure of grief. It was the reason why he despised androids so much."

Charlie shifted his position slightly. "That's unfortunate. Did an android murder his son?"

"No. There was a road accident. A truck had skidded on a sheet of ice and hit Hank's car. There was no human doctor available to perform emergency surgery on Cole, so an android had to instead. Cole didn't make it. Hank, however, soon realised that it wasn't the android's fault, it was the human surgeon that was too high on red ice."

Charlie didn't know how to respond. He squeezed Connor's hand and sighed, looking down to watch the sand sink beneath his shoes. 

Suddenly, Connor stopped walking.

"Hmm?" Charlie questioned, glancing over at his friend. Connor was gazing at him with eyes that held intent; intent that Charlie couldn't precisely pin. It was something he had never seen before, but the emotion it held was powerful. "Connor?"

"I… I need to get this out of my system." Connor pulled the other android closer, grabbing his other hand and holding them both in front of him. With them both facing each other, he leaned forward and rested his head on Charlie's chest. He could hear his thirium pump beating furiously against his chest, right beside his ear.

“...Connor?”

"Charlie..."

It felt like time itself had gone frozen when Connor lifted his head and pressed soft and warm lips against Charlie's own. A million emotions and feelings burst into Charlie's head and body, turning his LED a bright red with fright. This was actually happening. Connor was actually kissing him. His lips were so warm and plush; Charlie felt like he could sink right into his kiss. It was nothing too steamy; it was probably the kindest gesture Charlie had ever received in his life.

Connor's hands slipped out of his and wrapped around his hips, holding him closer. Charlie grunted into his lips, reaching up to his neck and combing gentle fingers through Connor's hair. His hair was just as soft as he had imagined it. He gasped as a tongue slipped into his mouth and ran along his teeth, urging him to deepen the kiss as well. Every part of Charlie's body was _hot_ and his cheeks were flustered a dark blue. He could feel the other android's warmth against him, sending all his biocomponents into a craze. He believed he was feeling lust, a human emotion. 

Charlie cursed in his mind when he realised his lower regions were starting to heat up again. Last time that happened, he almost died. The more his mind proceeded to focus on the heating, the more unstable he started to become. His head felt heavy and his chest— oh, God. He should have paid attention to his heart.

They pulled away—not for air, but because Charlie felt like he was about to pass out. A cloud of warnings and alerts piled in his vision; worse than they had ever been before. His head was screaming at him with an alarm that he was surprised that Connor couldn't hear, and his emotional stability was out the window.

A loud cry roared from Charlie as he pushed Connor to the ground with a violent shove. The android landed with a grunt, but he was more concerned about Charlie than himself.

"Charlie?!" He yelled in fright, standing up again to try and grab his attention. "Charlie, it's okay, I'm sorry!" When his fingers met with Charlie’s arm, the android slapped his hand away. His touch felt like fire.

Charlie couldn't hear him. He couldn't see him. He didn't know what was even happening to him. Charlie couldn't take this anymore; it was too arduous to bare. Every new day was as torturous as the last, and it was heavily taxing on his mental health. Another loud scream of distress left his lips as he thrashed violently, holding his head firmly between his hands.

"I can't do this," he tried to whisper, but it came out as a yell. He couldn't hear himself over the droning screech raging behind his ears. "I can't _fucking_ do this. I'm sorry, Connor. I'm so sorry."

Connor didn't know what to say. His throat felt constricted. He felt warm tears rushing down his cheeks and broken gasps attempting to escape his mouth. He only wanted to kiss Charlie. He didn't want this. 

When Charlie ran off, Connor couldn't stop him. He was much faster than he was. No amount of begging could stop Charlie in his pursuit. Before Connor knew it, he was gone. 

Gone— Charlie was gone. Oh, God. He lost him. He actually lost his friend. The friend that was soon to be his lover had left him alone to cry on a beach. But it wasn't Charlie's fault. He didn't hate Charlie for running off; he was overwhelmed. It was Connor's fault for triggering him, and now he felt like the scum of the Earth. He fell to his knees, then his side, and he curled up in the sand and sobbed. He sounded and looked pathetic, but he didn't care. He didn't fucking care about anything except Charlie. 

For once in his life, Connor felt like dying. He felt like grabbing a gun and blasting his biocomponents out. He was useless— utterly and completely useless. He cried until his system wasn’t capable of producing any more tears. He would start a search party if Charlie didn't come home after his breakdown, but he had a bad feeling that Charlie wasn't ever going to make it back. The last time that android ran off by himself, he was beaten half to death and left to rot. Connor _couldn't_ let that happen again.

Now, he had to get home and alert Hank before it was too late.


	13. "i need time"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter today, sorry!! i really wanted to write something while i actually felt motivated. ill be sure to make the next chapter longer!!

When Charlie ran off, he didn’t have a clue where he was heading. His legs took him as far as he could go with no idea of his surroundings. Subconsciously, Charlie knew he was in the outskirts of Detroit; the desolate streets full of gangs and anti-android humans, and it was probably the same place he ended up in before he lost his memory. He didn’t care that he was almost killed in this place before, he already felt like dying again anyway.

There was an abandoned shack nearby. Charlie ran inside and collapsed to the floor in a compact ball of limbs. He continued to cry and scream, thrashing around on the ground like a child having a tantrum. Luckily, there were no humans taking shelter in the run-down shack, which gave him the privacy to sob to his heart’s content. On the topic of his heart, he realised how much it was aching. Charlie thought leaving Connor would dull the pain, but now he swore it was worse than before. It wasn’t the same feeling, however. It was a strain that clasped his throat and brought rivers of grieving tears to his eyes. His heart was _broken_.

_‘Pathetic.’_

Charlie froze. Tears rolling down his cheeks, he turned over and sat up, spotting Ronnoc standing not too far away from him.

“...Wh-what?” He choked out, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand.

_‘You’re pathetic. Crying like a human over another android… What is wrong with you?’_

Charlie felt a pang of shame. Ronnoc was right… He was crying like a _human_. Charlie wasn’t a human, he was a worthless machine that shouldn’t have felt emotions in the first place. This wouldn’t have happened if he just stayed a machine.

“I know…” Charlie’s head hung in shame and he looked down at the dusty floor. It was cold under his palms as he held himself up. He could make out the wet stains from his tears that speckled the floor like a path after a storm. “You don’t have to tell me things I already know. You’re in my head, after all.”

Ronnoc grunted. _’Why do you think loitering in this shithole is going to help?’_

The android shrugged. He hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet. A lot of his time had been spent crying. “I’m not sure. I just need some time to think.”

A harsh chuckle— like nails on a chalkboard— echoed inside the room. It made Charlie feel small. _’We both know that isn’t true,’_ Ronnoc derided, folding his arms as he stared down at the smaller android.

Charlie didn’t bother to reply. He hated that Ronnoc was right. The slimy bastard was inside his head; rummaging around every nook and cranny, squeezing his brain until it hurt. He wished he could just shake him out, but nothing was as simple as that.

Charlie cringed inwardly when he heard Ronnoc laugh again. 

_’Do you want to get rid of me?’_

“...No.”

_‘Don't lie to me. I wanna hear you say it yourself.’_

Charlie blinked. Ronnoc used that millisecond span of time to teleport behind Charlie and grab his shoulders with sharp claws and hold him close to his chest. The bottom of his detached jaw laid over the top of Charlie’s head and the android shivered under the painful grasp.

“Yes, Ronnoc,” he breathed, “I want you gone.”

A warm, breathy chuckle slipped past his ear. It tingled. 

_’I’ll never leave you, Charlie. You should have listened to me before.’_ Ronnoc’s claws dug deeper into his shoulders, inciting a pained groan from the android. Out of instinct, his hands flew up to Ronnoc’s fingers and wrapped around them. 

“Stop… please,” he groused. Charlie’s grip on Ronnoc’s hand grew tighter.

 _’Whatever.’_ The claws pulled out of Charlie’s artificial flesh. _’You aren’t going to be able to survive by yourself much longer. The pain is going to get worse.’_

“I don’t doubt you when you say that,” Charlie hissed, holding a firm hand over his wound. “I just need some time alone.”

 _’That “time” is going to end up being much longer than you’re imagining it.’_ Ronnoc said. He stood up and licked the thirium off his claws. Charlie knew it wasn’t his actual blood, but it definitely felt like it.

“Perhaps. But that doesn’t bother me. I’ll take all the time I need, even if it kills me.”

The monster didn’t say another word. He turned away and stalked off into the darkness of the shack until he wasn’t visible to Charlie any longer. The android sighed in relief and laid back down onto the concrete floor. His chest heaved with shaky breaths and his shoulder throbbed. He held his hand over his chest and felt as his heart raced inside his chest.

“I’m sorry, Connor…” He muttered quietly, rolling onto his side. Charlie curled his legs closer to his body and rested his head on his hands, shutting his teary eyes. For now, he should rest. The threatening thoughts were starting to tear his heart apart piece by piece.


	14. two sides of anguish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self-harm trigger warning for this chapter, stay safe kiddos!

There was an immediate police search team sent out to find Charlie when he had run off. Connor wasn’t taking any risks with his friend. Wherever he had run off, it couldn’t have been safe for him. He was damaged and upset; the last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts and that Ronnoc figure he mentioned. Connor had ordered the search team to explore the dump that Connor had first found Charlie in. That town was probably the worst place in Detroit for an android to be, and in Charlie’s current state, it was far more dangerous than it had been before.

Connor didn’t want to sleep. He felt like it would be his fault if Charlie died while he was asleep. He could be helping search for his friend instead of sleeping. But, there wasn’t much Connor could do. He may have been a detective android, but he was just as unsafe in those streets as Charlie. The humans there tended to gang up on androids and beat them to death. For some reason, he didn’t care if he died. He only cared if Charlie died. He would risk his life to save Charlie. A single tear escaped from his eye and fled down his cheek.

He wiped the tear away with the back of his hand, lying down back down on the bed. Connor missed having Charlie next to him. He missed his warmth and his gorgeous face as he slept soundly. Connor wanted to cuddle with Charlie and never let go of him. He wanted to make sure he never went missing again, but he needed to be optimistic about Charlie returning home if he wanted that dream to come true.

Optimism wasn’t something that came easily to Connor. He was logical. He didn’t think the best of situations, he thought the most logical of situations. That made his grieving even harder for him to endure. He rested his head onto the sheets and allowed himself to cry more. The wet tears soaked into the white sheet. He gripped the sheets and pulled them over his head, rubbing his face into them. Fuck, he just wanted Charlie back.

A weak sob erupted from his lips as more tears soaked into the bed.

Suddenly, a soft hand touched the small of his back. 

“Connor?” It was an old voice, obviously belonging to Hank.

The android didn’t uncover his face. 

“It’s 1 am, Connor. Don’t you think you should get some rest?” Hank tested, rubbing his partner’s back calmly. 

“I don’t want to,” Connor replied sternly, peeping one eye out at Hank. The human had a tired expression, had Connor woken him up? That made him feel bad. He didn’t want to cause more damage than he already had. It was his fault Charlie ran anyway. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed him. Charlie was already hurt enough.

“Why?”

“I can’t let Charlie down again. He’s out there because of me, so I don’t deserve to rest.” He hid his face in the sheets again, holding back a sob. Why did his systems make him feel like this? He wasn’t human, he didn’t have to cry to get his emotions out. 

“That’s not true, Connor. We’ll find him soon, he’s only damaged and needs some help. Don’t think it’s your fault.”

“But it is!” Connor yelled, sitting up suddenly. “I knew his systems couldn’t handle my affection, but I still kissed him! I should have controlled myself!”

Hank’s expression changed to shock. He wasn’t expecting Connor to react like that, and he sure didn’t expect Connor to admit to kissing the other. That explained a lot, actually. Hank’s face went soft again and he reached out for Connor’s shoulder. The android allowed him to.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to change your mind, but I just want you to remember that no one thinks this is your fault. Not even Charlie.”

“Then whose fault is it?”

Hank paused. “It’s Kamski’s fault. He made you two, after all.” He meant it in a humorous way, but Connor was too upset to laugh or smile.

“I guess…” He sighed, hanging his head. A few more lost tears wandered down his cheek. He glanced over at Hank and received a kind smile from the human. Connor reached forward and hugged the man, hiding his face in his neck.

“Thank you, Hank. Thank you for caring.”

Hank held Connor close with a smile. “I’ll always care about you, Connor. You’re like a son to me.”

The android kept his partner in a hug until he felt it was fit to stop. He released Hank and laid back down. When Hank left the room, the android put himself into rest mode. He wasn’t letting Charlie down by sleeping, there were people already looking for him. He’d be fine. They would find him.

_Please be fine, Charlie._

-0-

Charlie wasn’t fine. He was cramped inside a musty and dark shack that was full of bugs, dust and a clammy concrete floor. Every time he sat up, he felt a bug squish under his hands. He could see in the dark (thanks to him being a robot), but it was still hard to make out the bugs. There was so many that they _looked_ like the floor itself. When it was night, apparently the fuckers liked the shack more than the streets.

Ronnoc had been bothering him a lot, as well. The hallucination on a daily basis would use a method that could bring down Charlie's mood lower than it already was. Ronnoc was talented with words, but he used them in the wrong way. It was like giving a villain a powerful weapon that would inevitably make him undefeatable. 

How did Hitler get the German people on his side? Through the use of words. 

Charlie didn’t know how to get through this disaster. He had never wanted to wither away and die before, but here he was, crying his eyes out and only merely stopping himself from breaking some glass and ripping his thirium pump out of his chest. The only way to stop his heart from aching was death, apparently. Ronnoc made that obvious. The repairman from Cyberlife couldn’t even fix Charlie, so was there anything that could help him?

There was a voice behind him but he ignored it. Nothing Ronnoc said was important. Charlie stood up wearily and walked over to the windows. Maybe his idea with the glass was a good idea. There were no thoughts in his head that were against the idea. The pros outweighed the cons. He balled his hand into a fist and smashed the window with a singular punch, hissing as the shards of glass tore his skin. A few scratches started to turn blue with thirium. Charlie grunted and picked up the largest (and sharpest) shard of glass he could spot. 

_’So, you’re finally listening to me,’_ Ronnoc said from behind him. There was a mocking tone to his voice. Charlie cringed. _’I cannot believe how utterly useless and pathetic you are. Suicide, really?’_

Charlie growled and faced him, stomping closer. “You kept fucking pushing me to do it!” He pointed the shard at Ronnoc but the hallucination didn’t react. It’s not like Charlie could kill him, anyway.

_’That doesn’t give you a valid reason to actually do it. Are you gonna jump off a bridge if someone asked you to?’_

The android shook his head. Once again, Ronnoc won with his words. “No, but this is a different situation. I don’t have anything worth living for.”

Ronnoc chuckled. _’Alright, you got me there.’_ The monster walked closer, grinning as he noticed Charlie begin to shake. _’Don't cry. What’s wrong with you?’_ He only grinned wider when Charlie attempted to jab the knife at him threateningly.

“I think the answer to that is obvious,” Charlie snapped venomously. A thought suddenly passed his mind. “When I die, you die too, you know.”

_’I was never alive in the first place anyway, Charlie.’_

Fuck. Charlie bit his lip, pointing the shard towards himself instead. “At least I won’t ever have to see you again.”

Ronnoc didn’t reply, but he made his mock obvious with a smirk. He didn’t care. He never cared.

_’If you kill yourself, you’re going to let Connor down.’_

A sudden pain struck Charlie. “Don’t you dare bring his name up,” his tone was more hostile than it had been before.

_’Connor might come looking for you, and when he finds you, you’ll be dead. He’ll blame himself for your death and kill himself, too.’_

“Ronnoc, shut the fuck up--”

He kept going, _’I know what you’ve been worrying about. I know you won’t kill yourself.’_

Charlie had had enough. With a sudden loud scream of fury, he plunged the shard of glass into his arm. The pain was agonising, but he wanted more. He wanted everything to end. Charlie twisted the shard and tore up his own skin, continuing to tear apart his own artificial flesh as cobalt gore spilled from the mutilated gash. 

Pained groans filled the room as he fell to his knees. One of his arms was completely cut up with deep gashes or chunks of flesh completely missing. The glass had broken before he could cut the entire limb off. That made him furious. Why was life trying so hard to keep him alive?

He grabbed another shard of glass and started on his other arm. He realised with only one arm, it’d be impossible to cut up the other. He decided he would keep both. The shard dug into his other arm, slashing gashes across the limb until thirium was pooling around the deep wounds. The blue liquid spilt onto the floor with a loud splash. There was so much thirium. It was everywhere. Charlie started to feel light headed as the room begun to spin. 

Why was everything moving? He could hardly continue sitting upright. His body leaned forward, feeling as if it had gained another hundred pounds. He felt heavier than he had before. Charlie tumbled to the ground in a shallow pool of his own blood, cringing as the fluid splattered across his face. Charlie moaned in agony as his pounding head and heart tore at his psyche. Everything felt like it was falling apart right at his feet.

“What the fuck,” He hissed, curling up on himself. “What’s happening to me?” He wasn’t asking anyone in particular, but he glanced over at Ronnoc who was towering above his quivering frame.

 _’You’re bleeding out, dumbass. That’s what happens when you slice your arm up.’_ Ronnoc was insulting him, as usual. This time Charlie deserved it. He’s such a fucking idiot. What was he expecting? To walk away from this without consequences? Apparently, life didn’t work like that when it came to Charlie. First off: the love of his life was slowly killing him from loving him too much, and second off, Charlie was still fucking dying without Connor even being near him.

_Couldn’t he just catch a damn break?_

His vision started to go blurry and panic settled into his thumping heart. This was it: he was going to bleed out to death. He would never see Connor again, but he would never feel love or heartbreak ever again. Sobs began to wrack his frame as tears spilled from his eyes like little-lost waterdrops. His crying was so clamourous and vehement that it would be easy to mistake him for a distressed baby.

As everything started to go black, Charlie’s memory brought colour to his darkening world. Memories of Connor flipped past, whether it be him smiling, laughing, or just being him. There was no word to explain the emotion Charlie felt when he relived their first kiss through his memories.

Oh, god. He just wanted to feel Connor’s soft and warm lips on his again. He wanted to hold Connor and never let go. Fuck-- he didn’t want to die! He wanted to see Connor again!

It was too late. Everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> **hey! this fic now has an official[discord server!](https://discord.gg/aYaKbMY) feel free to join if you'd like to meet the beta, the author, other readers and also talk to Connor!**


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